Tuesday, October 26, 2004
It's been a good day. I woke up wide awake and had only one class today which went quite well.
I got to tutor hispanic kids today!! I worked with the fifth graders, they were so cute!! I helped a couple with their biology and another group with a history paper.
Oh man!! A friend lent me the nicest camera!!! I borrowed it to work on my biology web page. He also helped me edit all the pictures. I love photography!!
Fencing tonight went soo much better!! The only bouts I lost was to Mitchell (a B epee) and my sabre couch. It wasn't so much that I won, but I felt like I fenced a lot better.
Oops, Josh and Tara woke up. They looked so cute sleeping. They are still convinced they don't like eachother, but I don't believe them. =-)
I got to tutor hispanic kids today!! I worked with the fifth graders, they were so cute!! I helped a couple with their biology and another group with a history paper.
Oh man!! A friend lent me the nicest camera!!! I borrowed it to work on my biology web page. He also helped me edit all the pictures. I love photography!!
Fencing tonight went soo much better!! The only bouts I lost was to Mitchell (a B epee) and my sabre couch. It wasn't so much that I won, but I felt like I fenced a lot better.
Oops, Josh and Tara woke up. They looked so cute sleeping. They are still convinced they don't like eachother, but I don't believe them. =-)
Monday, October 25, 2004
The day was boring, fencing was a bit frustrating. I mean, I did fine. I won all my bouts except against Mitchell and fingernails John, but I was still frustrated with my fencing. I'm not parrying with distance like I should and I'm not landing the low lines. My disengages are too large and my footwork is horrible. Temple is only two weeks away, all we have are five more practices. I stayed after and learned a trick to use on the new timings. I'm going to have to work my butt off to get it right. Why does it take me so darn long to learn new things? My retreats are horrible when I'm doing it, I don't do it fast enough, or I don't get five in time. *sigh*
Ugh, my knee gave out twice tonight. The first time Mitchell saw me and was like "Ashley..." and I told him it was my leg muscle and not my knee to get him to drop it. I'm being careful, really. I need a new brace. That will help. We have a new sabre fencer named Chip. I thought of Chip Reed as soon as he said his name. He's really good despite being new, not to mention he fences with sort of an epee flare which makes him alot harder to predict then most newbies. Since he's athletic, he's naturally fast (speed seems rare among the sabres in our club seeing only about four use speed). I'll stop ranting. I just wish I could get it right!!!!!!
Ugh, my knee gave out twice tonight. The first time Mitchell saw me and was like "Ashley..." and I told him it was my leg muscle and not my knee to get him to drop it. I'm being careful, really. I need a new brace. That will help. We have a new sabre fencer named Chip. I thought of Chip Reed as soon as he said his name. He's really good despite being new, not to mention he fences with sort of an epee flare which makes him alot harder to predict then most newbies. Since he's athletic, he's naturally fast (speed seems rare among the sabres in our club seeing only about four use speed). I'll stop ranting. I just wish I could get it right!!!!!!
"Turn the page
Can't turn the light out
Every word every line
Carries to my soul
Dark letters on a page
Singing so loud
Where did I go wrong
not to hear You.....
Eighteen years
I guess it was alright
I let You do the thinking
I'd just rather bide my time
Father to son
Sunday hand me down
Where did I go wrong
Not to hear Your song
It's a beautiful sound
Moving through the crowd
Voices lifted upOn high for You
It's a beautiful song
And we've only just begun to understand
Rediscovering You
To have found You , and still be looking for You
It's "The soul's paradox of love"
You fill my cup i lift it up for more
I won't stop now that I'm free
I'll be chasing You
Like You chase me
Lead us break us
Form us make us
Mold us bend us
Push us shape us
This is poetry in motion
Mercies new every day
This faith cannot stay still
Until we see You face to face"
-Newboys "Beautiful Sound"
Can't turn the light out
Every word every line
Carries to my soul
Dark letters on a page
Singing so loud
Where did I go wrong
not to hear You.....
Eighteen years
I guess it was alright
I let You do the thinking
I'd just rather bide my time
Father to son
Sunday hand me down
Where did I go wrong
Not to hear Your song
It's a beautiful sound
Moving through the crowd
Voices lifted upOn high for You
It's a beautiful song
And we've only just begun to understand
Rediscovering You
To have found You , and still be looking for You
It's "The soul's paradox of love"
You fill my cup i lift it up for more
I won't stop now that I'm free
I'll be chasing You
Like You chase me
Lead us break us
Form us make us
Mold us bend us
Push us shape us
This is poetry in motion
Mercies new every day
This faith cannot stay still
Until we see You face to face"
-Newboys "Beautiful Sound"
Saturday, October 23, 2004
What a weekend!!! It started with frisbee, volleyball (where Chris, Kurt and I had a beautiful comeback against Josh, Tara and Roy), pool, a movie and card games. I'm getting better at pool though, it's fun. =-)
This morning was even better!! After getting almost no sleep, I woke up at 8am to help DCF set up for their tail gate, only to find I was the third one there. So I chilled with Brytmeyer and Stuart and helped them with setting up as everyone continued to arrive with football and frisbee breaks. They grilled steak, burgers, hotdogs, and Stuart fried a turkey. There was a ton of food and great people. We tossed the frisbee and talked while we waited for gametime. Taylor from fencig (he's an epee) joined our group because he wanted to hang out with people who were not planning on getting drunk.
The game just rocked!!! I sat with Chris and Megan on the hill. Megan is awesome, and probably the most fun person you can hang out with as far as sports are involved (not to mention a fellow Red Sox fan). We cheered and jumped and yelled all throughout the close match from our great seats on the hill (the best place to see a game from). The game was coming to a close and Maryland was up 7 to 3, when Clemson made a beautiful touch down!!! What a game!! Clemson wins 10-7.
We headed back over to the tail gate, but passing the football got a bit competitive. Brandon and Chris were convinced that they could get the football before me (and all of you who know me know I will never back down to a challenge) and Brytmeyer tried to keep it from Megan. This soon morphed into a guys versus girls football game with Chris, Brytmeyer and Brandon against, Megan, Natalie and I. John and Chris were our biased refs. It was a good match, and awesomely fun too!! Technically the score was tied at the end, but the refs called more flags on plays than..well..i don't know what!! John and Chris did everything they could to be biased for the girls. So at the end of the game a soaking wet Brytmeyer (from sweat) an Brandon tackled John for his favoring us. Good times. =-)
This morning was even better!! After getting almost no sleep, I woke up at 8am to help DCF set up for their tail gate, only to find I was the third one there. So I chilled with Brytmeyer and Stuart and helped them with setting up as everyone continued to arrive with football and frisbee breaks. They grilled steak, burgers, hotdogs, and Stuart fried a turkey. There was a ton of food and great people. We tossed the frisbee and talked while we waited for gametime. Taylor from fencig (he's an epee) joined our group because he wanted to hang out with people who were not planning on getting drunk.
The game just rocked!!! I sat with Chris and Megan on the hill. Megan is awesome, and probably the most fun person you can hang out with as far as sports are involved (not to mention a fellow Red Sox fan). We cheered and jumped and yelled all throughout the close match from our great seats on the hill (the best place to see a game from). The game was coming to a close and Maryland was up 7 to 3, when Clemson made a beautiful touch down!!! What a game!! Clemson wins 10-7.
We headed back over to the tail gate, but passing the football got a bit competitive. Brandon and Chris were convinced that they could get the football before me (and all of you who know me know I will never back down to a challenge) and Brytmeyer tried to keep it from Megan. This soon morphed into a guys versus girls football game with Chris, Brytmeyer and Brandon against, Megan, Natalie and I. John and Chris were our biased refs. It was a good match, and awesomely fun too!! Technically the score was tied at the end, but the refs called more flags on plays than..well..i don't know what!! John and Chris did everything they could to be biased for the girls. So at the end of the game a soaking wet Brytmeyer (from sweat) an Brandon tackled John for his favoring us. Good times. =-)
Friday, October 22, 2004
CONGRADULATION CHIP AND KELSEY!!! I'm sooo happy for you guys! I can't wait to see her!
Thursday, October 21, 2004
These last couple of weeks have been horrible. Well, schooland fencing have been awesome, it's the family that hasn't been doing well. I have done a good job of not talking to people about it. It's just not right to let your problems out on people you've only own for three months. So pardon me, but I need to release somewhere. My mom has figured out that it is easier to tell people things over IM because she is not good with breaking bad news but likes to tell someone about it. So she informed me about how sick my sister is again and how worried the doctor's are for her randomly over IM. She is also worried about Sarah's boyfriend (not a good situation there). Fortunately the next thing she told me over the phone.
"If you have anything to say to either of your grandparents you better say it within the next couple of weeks." That's a great way to break to your daughter that her grandparent's are dying.
"Why?"
"Because your grandmother is going downhill really fast and your grandfather (who is is a nuring home and not doing well as is) stopped eating when he heard the news. The doctors' don't expect them to last long."
I hate hearing bad news over a phone when there is no one there to hug you and tell you it will be okay. These are the grandparents I am the closest to. All my relatives live in New Hampshire, but these were the only two that came down every spring and winter to stay with us on the way to and from Florida. We stay with them every time we go to New Hampshire and we use to go camping with them. When I was little I could just sit and talk with them for a long time. They are so nice and fun loving. I haven't seen my grandfather in a year, and I may never get to see either of them again. That's just so hard to grasp. It doesn't seem real. Alright, moving on before I cry.
I had a friend tell me they tried to commit suicide and sent me the pictures. I cried and nearly threw up. I talked to them for a long time and then went and cried. It's horrible to see them going through such a hard time and I can't do anything about it.
Oh, about my grandparents not doing well, my relatives are squabling about the inheritance. How insensitive and horribly greedy!!! My grandparents not only still alive, but my relatives are just so greedy!
Well, my room just got invaded so maybe I'll finish posting later, or maybe not.
"If you have anything to say to either of your grandparents you better say it within the next couple of weeks." That's a great way to break to your daughter that her grandparent's are dying.
"Why?"
"Because your grandmother is going downhill really fast and your grandfather (who is is a nuring home and not doing well as is) stopped eating when he heard the news. The doctors' don't expect them to last long."
I hate hearing bad news over a phone when there is no one there to hug you and tell you it will be okay. These are the grandparents I am the closest to. All my relatives live in New Hampshire, but these were the only two that came down every spring and winter to stay with us on the way to and from Florida. We stay with them every time we go to New Hampshire and we use to go camping with them. When I was little I could just sit and talk with them for a long time. They are so nice and fun loving. I haven't seen my grandfather in a year, and I may never get to see either of them again. That's just so hard to grasp. It doesn't seem real. Alright, moving on before I cry.
I had a friend tell me they tried to commit suicide and sent me the pictures. I cried and nearly threw up. I talked to them for a long time and then went and cried. It's horrible to see them going through such a hard time and I can't do anything about it.
Oh, about my grandparents not doing well, my relatives are squabling about the inheritance. How insensitive and horribly greedy!!! My grandparents not only still alive, but my relatives are just so greedy!
Well, my room just got invaded so maybe I'll finish posting later, or maybe not.
Tuesday, October 19, 2004
Fencing last night was fun in a weird way. First, I fell on my butt trying to get away from Gina because my shoe now lacks traction, and I fell into the foils. I started to make a crack onthe foils just now, but then I remembered that I'm the one on the floor on my butt. I bouted Gina and definetly lost. I wasn't really getting the cross back, which is weird cause I use to be good at that. So John decided to give me a hand and chased me backwards as fast as he could advance.
"Ashley, how is it that I can advance faster than you can run backwards."
"I have no clue..."
"Shut up. Imagine I'm a big hairybarbarian chasing you down."
"John..."
"I'm a big hairy barbarian, now run!"
I can run backwards now.
John and I did normal bouting for what felt like forever after practice ended. We just didn't want to stop, well, until he fell. Then we stopped. Michael was taking me way too seriously. I would yell and hit myself on the mask when I messed up, and Michael would tell me to chill. I guess he didn't hear me laughing. I was joking frustrated, not actually frustrated. It's like when I pretend to be pissed (ask Josh about that one).
Right now I'm listening to David Wilcox (and if you don't know who that is, you're missing out). The song Show the Way is awesome. I usually call it Love Wrote Play. I love that song.
I switched majors. Well, not really. I switched tracts and still don't have a major. But I like my new one, so I'm a happy girl.
I've been playing alot of pool lately. I'm still not good at it, but I can at least break now. =-)
Well I'll stop typing before I start typing Wilcox lyrics.
"Ashley, how is it that I can advance faster than you can run backwards."
"I have no clue..."
"Shut up. Imagine I'm a big hairybarbarian chasing you down."
"John..."
"I'm a big hairy barbarian, now run!"
I can run backwards now.
John and I did normal bouting for what felt like forever after practice ended. We just didn't want to stop, well, until he fell. Then we stopped. Michael was taking me way too seriously. I would yell and hit myself on the mask when I messed up, and Michael would tell me to chill. I guess he didn't hear me laughing. I was joking frustrated, not actually frustrated. It's like when I pretend to be pissed (ask Josh about that one).
Right now I'm listening to David Wilcox (and if you don't know who that is, you're missing out). The song Show the Way is awesome. I usually call it Love Wrote Play. I love that song.
I switched majors. Well, not really. I switched tracts and still don't have a major. But I like my new one, so I'm a happy girl.
I've been playing alot of pool lately. I'm still not good at it, but I can at least break now. =-)
Well I'll stop typing before I start typing Wilcox lyrics.
Sunday, October 17, 2004
What a day!! I barely was able to crawl out of bed for DCF, but I was definetly glad I went. After a cup of coffee, I was able to function....mostly....
I did absolutely nothing school related today. I carved a pumpkin!!!! I carved a big pawprint in it. It actually looks okay considereing I only had the little knife I usually carry in my purse to do it. Jason helped. I love carving pumpkins!! But my roommate ruined the pumpkin seeds!! She decided that the room smelled to much like pumpkin and got febreze happy and febrezed my pumpkin seeds so I wasn't able to cook them.
I painted my medium size pumpkin. I was going to paint a tiger on it, but all I had was a sharpie marker so I didn't think that that'd go so well. Instead I found that the Japanese symbol for tiger looks awesome, so I painted that. Since I had room left I decided to go all the way around the pumpkin with the symbol for tiger in different languages. So it has tiger in Japanese, Korean and Chinese. Pretty nice!
I went to go play pool with Chris this afternoon only to find that Edgar's was closed. I was bummed. So we went and got coffee instead. I miss Old Europe's coffee, and Chip and Kelsey's coffee, but hey, at least it's coffee.
Movie night tonight!!! We're watchign Breakfast Club! Heck yea!!
I did absolutely nothing school related today. I carved a pumpkin!!!! I carved a big pawprint in it. It actually looks okay considereing I only had the little knife I usually carry in my purse to do it. Jason helped. I love carving pumpkins!! But my roommate ruined the pumpkin seeds!! She decided that the room smelled to much like pumpkin and got febreze happy and febrezed my pumpkin seeds so I wasn't able to cook them.
I painted my medium size pumpkin. I was going to paint a tiger on it, but all I had was a sharpie marker so I didn't think that that'd go so well. Instead I found that the Japanese symbol for tiger looks awesome, so I painted that. Since I had room left I decided to go all the way around the pumpkin with the symbol for tiger in different languages. So it has tiger in Japanese, Korean and Chinese. Pretty nice!
I went to go play pool with Chris this afternoon only to find that Edgar's was closed. I was bummed. So we went and got coffee instead. I miss Old Europe's coffee, and Chip and Kelsey's coffee, but hey, at least it's coffee.
Movie night tonight!!! We're watchign Breakfast Club! Heck yea!!
Saturday, October 16, 2004
I guess I should tell you all about the tournament. I'm so tired that if this is coherent than it will be a miracle. I started the day by waking up at 6am to shower and get ready to leave, then met Emma and Kelly at Hendrix. It was at this point that we realized that we didn't have directions, so we went to Kelly's to print some off. After grabbing some coffee (so I didn't fall asleep at the wheel), we were off. We were proud of ourselves for not really getting lost and pulled up in front of USC gym at 10am.
John, Kelly, Emma and I warmed up by keeping distance with Talon and bouting some, but it was not long before we were called over to begin. John was in my pool, while Kelly, Emma and Talon were in the other. Actually, John was the first one I was suppose to bout. I went 4-5 with him (yes, I lost). Than I went 4-5 with two other guys (one was Lee Smelgrove who is suppose to be really good). But, I got frustrated after losing to the guy who made it to the finals because I didn't understand why he was getting the touches (as asked afterwards and had it explained to me). I lost 5-2 to a guy who was better than me, but I came back with a 5-3 win, and another 4-5 loss. My last bout I lost 5-3 due to stupidity. My first DE I won!!! That made me happy, dispite my body chord breaking and my knee giving out. My second DE definetly didn't go well, I think I got 4 touches, but the guy was better than me so I didn't feel too bad.
One this I didn't like was the long wait until the open tournament (due to the fact that there wasn't anywhere to really warm up again). I lost my first open bout 3-5 because I was being stupid. I won my second 5-4 to a guy who ran me over twice because he decided to scream and charge me. The ref threatened to black card him if he did it again. My last two bouts I definetly lost and do not feel bad about losing because they were two guys that my coach (Talon) has yet to beat: Ashley Walker (the USC coach) and the older Ziechman brother. Bouting Ziechman was just awesome. The way he fences is just so light and pretty that I couldn't help but have a great respect for him. My DE bout was against Talon. It sucked, not cause of Talon, but cause I fenced worse than I had all day. Since when did I stop parrying with distance and when did I start trying to low line with a straight blade? I only got four touches on him. I didn't expect to win, but I would have rather put up at least a bit of a fight. Oh well.
I had a blast though!!!! I'm so excited about temple now, but I think I should probably start jogging or something to get in better shape. Well, Talon and Michael did technically ground Kelly, Emma and I for Monday (meaning that practice for us will consist of lunges and pushups).
Talon won his E and missed his D by one touch. Yea, he wasn't too happy about that. Michael thought he earned his C, but than realized that the C's who came to the tournament were fencing sucky that day so enough didn't make it into the final 8 for him to rate a C. He missed actually becoming a C by two touches. He was NOT happy about that. But he did win a stuffed chicken for getting second place.
After the tournament, Talon, Mary, Michael, Mitchell, Kelly, Emma and I went to a Japanese Steakhouse. It was fun. I say it like that cause there is no way to describe the fun insanity with my brain functioning as little as it is right now. We goofed off, ate good food and than went over to Michael's house. Emma, Kelly and I stayed their until about 11:30pm before deciding to head back to Clemson. Kelly and Emma fell asleep, and I fought my hardest not to fall asleep behind the wheel. I must have been sucessful because we returned to Clemson at 2am. Now I'm tired and need sleep. I'll add stuff later if I forgot something.
John, Kelly, Emma and I warmed up by keeping distance with Talon and bouting some, but it was not long before we were called over to begin. John was in my pool, while Kelly, Emma and Talon were in the other. Actually, John was the first one I was suppose to bout. I went 4-5 with him (yes, I lost). Than I went 4-5 with two other guys (one was Lee Smelgrove who is suppose to be really good). But, I got frustrated after losing to the guy who made it to the finals because I didn't understand why he was getting the touches (as asked afterwards and had it explained to me). I lost 5-2 to a guy who was better than me, but I came back with a 5-3 win, and another 4-5 loss. My last bout I lost 5-3 due to stupidity. My first DE I won!!! That made me happy, dispite my body chord breaking and my knee giving out. My second DE definetly didn't go well, I think I got 4 touches, but the guy was better than me so I didn't feel too bad.
One this I didn't like was the long wait until the open tournament (due to the fact that there wasn't anywhere to really warm up again). I lost my first open bout 3-5 because I was being stupid. I won my second 5-4 to a guy who ran me over twice because he decided to scream and charge me. The ref threatened to black card him if he did it again. My last two bouts I definetly lost and do not feel bad about losing because they were two guys that my coach (Talon) has yet to beat: Ashley Walker (the USC coach) and the older Ziechman brother. Bouting Ziechman was just awesome. The way he fences is just so light and pretty that I couldn't help but have a great respect for him. My DE bout was against Talon. It sucked, not cause of Talon, but cause I fenced worse than I had all day. Since when did I stop parrying with distance and when did I start trying to low line with a straight blade? I only got four touches on him. I didn't expect to win, but I would have rather put up at least a bit of a fight. Oh well.
I had a blast though!!!! I'm so excited about temple now, but I think I should probably start jogging or something to get in better shape. Well, Talon and Michael did technically ground Kelly, Emma and I for Monday (meaning that practice for us will consist of lunges and pushups).
Talon won his E and missed his D by one touch. Yea, he wasn't too happy about that. Michael thought he earned his C, but than realized that the C's who came to the tournament were fencing sucky that day so enough didn't make it into the final 8 for him to rate a C. He missed actually becoming a C by two touches. He was NOT happy about that. But he did win a stuffed chicken for getting second place.
After the tournament, Talon, Mary, Michael, Mitchell, Kelly, Emma and I went to a Japanese Steakhouse. It was fun. I say it like that cause there is no way to describe the fun insanity with my brain functioning as little as it is right now. We goofed off, ate good food and than went over to Michael's house. Emma, Kelly and I stayed their until about 11:30pm before deciding to head back to Clemson. Kelly and Emma fell asleep, and I fought my hardest not to fall asleep behind the wheel. I must have been sucessful because we returned to Clemson at 2am. Now I'm tired and need sleep. I'll add stuff later if I forgot something.
Friday, October 15, 2004
What a day!!!!!!!!!!! I'm gonna start with the end of it cause that was definetly the coolest part!
In fencing practice today (after murdering our legs), Mitchell decideds to let us all play capture the flag, with weapons. He split us up on either side of the basketball court, foils and epees on one side and sabres and Josh (an epee) on the other. We sabres were outnumbered. The rules where that you could get tagged out anywhere on the court, couldn't step out of bounds, and you could only hit the other person in your target area but you were hit by the other person's target area for their weapon. First round, sabres lost, but after that we won almost every round. We even won after Mitchell (our best fencer and epee instructor), Talon (the sabre instructor) and Jason (a very good epee) were all on the other team. It was just awesome!!!!!!!
Earlier that day, Tara and I decided to bake. We ended up baking four cakes!!! We still have a cake and a half left after giving some to almost everyone on our floor and a person off of third flood.
I saw a beautiful sunset!! One of my friends from third floor IMed me to go up to his room and look out the window. It was a gorgeous array of color over death valley. I wish I had my camara!!
Speaking of camaras, I got to mess with photography most of the day and setting up my website which was fun.
I also got to hang out with Suzanne and Cynthia, who I'm just getting know. I think that's the longest I've been at that end of the hall.
Well, I must run to psychology. My sister and mom are coming today!!! I'm so excited!!! Than I have the tournament tomorrow! I'm like a ball of excited happiness. =-)
In fencing practice today (after murdering our legs), Mitchell decideds to let us all play capture the flag, with weapons. He split us up on either side of the basketball court, foils and epees on one side and sabres and Josh (an epee) on the other. We sabres were outnumbered. The rules where that you could get tagged out anywhere on the court, couldn't step out of bounds, and you could only hit the other person in your target area but you were hit by the other person's target area for their weapon. First round, sabres lost, but after that we won almost every round. We even won after Mitchell (our best fencer and epee instructor), Talon (the sabre instructor) and Jason (a very good epee) were all on the other team. It was just awesome!!!!!!!
Earlier that day, Tara and I decided to bake. We ended up baking four cakes!!! We still have a cake and a half left after giving some to almost everyone on our floor and a person off of third flood.
I saw a beautiful sunset!! One of my friends from third floor IMed me to go up to his room and look out the window. It was a gorgeous array of color over death valley. I wish I had my camara!!
Speaking of camaras, I got to mess with photography most of the day and setting up my website which was fun.
I also got to hang out with Suzanne and Cynthia, who I'm just getting know. I think that's the longest I've been at that end of the hall.
Well, I must run to psychology. My sister and mom are coming today!!! I'm so excited!!! Than I have the tournament tomorrow! I'm like a ball of excited happiness. =-)
Wednesday, October 13, 2004
I know, I know, I already blogged today, but guess what??? (No, not chicken butt)
Tara and I cooked tonight for DCF!!!!!!!!!! It was so nice to get to cook again. We're gonna make a cake for the dorm people and ourselves tomorrow night.
I also am proud of myself. I made myself do fencing footwork in the basement of Holmes for half and hour straight and did the light switch exercise with the saber for another half hour since I can't make it to practice tonight.
Tara and I cooked tonight for DCF!!!!!!!!!! It was so nice to get to cook again. We're gonna make a cake for the dorm people and ourselves tomorrow night.
I also am proud of myself. I made myself do fencing footwork in the basement of Holmes for half and hour straight and did the light switch exercise with the saber for another half hour since I can't make it to practice tonight.
Tuesday, October 12, 2004
I'm having such a good day!!! I actually got 7 hours of sleep last night which is more than I've gotten in two weeks. I woke up without being groggy, had a nice breakfast with my roommate, and survived biology without any problems. Redfern sucked though. There was a new nurse there and she gave me the shot wrong. My whole arm still hurts, so fencing tonight ought to be rough. Speaking of fencing, my elbow is killing me and has a massive purple bruise on it from being low lined last night. Definetly not cool. I took the career assesment test at Hendrix today. I don't get the results back until next week though. I snuck a peak at it and it looks like I'm almost 50-50 on social work and business. Go figure. I tried to take a nap today, didn't work. So I crawled off my loft, wrapped myself in a blanket and stared at the computer in a vain attempt to gain motivation to do my homework when there was a knock upon my door. "Come in" I called, assuming it was my roommate or one of the people off my floor, but to my surprise it wasn't. It was Doug and Josh from DCF! They were visiting Jared to see his new subwolfer and stopped in to see Tara and I while they were here. We talked for awhile, which was fun. Seeing people, especially people I don't normall see more than three times a day really really makes me happy no matter how bad my day's been. I love people. They ran out of Chai at the latte place again!!! But I'm getting to know the workers there. Sad in a way, but fun. I'm rambling, can you tell? I'm just in too good of a mood not to ramble. Dropping calculus was definetly a good idea. Now I have time to tutor hispanic kids, be in a bible study, fence, be in LTG, and DCF without feeling too stressed. I also actually have time to do my homework. I'm taking Russin and Philosophy next semester!! I'm soo excited. I'm taking dance lessons too. I'll have 18 hours, but it shouldn't be too bad.
I started reading Notes From Underground today by Dostoevsky (for those of you who don't know, he is my favorite author). It's really good!!!
" Tell me this: why did it happen that at the very, yes, at the very moment when I was most capable of recognizing every refinement of 'all the sublime and beautiful,' as we used to say at one time, I would, as though purposely, not only feel but do such hideous things, such that - well, in short, such as everyone probably does but which, as though purposely occured to me at the very time when I was most conscious that they ought not to be done. The more conscious I was of goodness, and of all that 'sublime and beautiful', the more deeply I sank into my mire and the more capable I became of sinking into it completely."
The quote gets better as it goes on, but I'll spare you the long read and not assume everyone to enjoy what I enjoy. Why do I like Dostoesky? He mixes philosophy, ethical debates and social debates in with a good story. As my English teach would say: His writing is rich. Everything in it is full of meaning and yet fun to read.
Speaking of philosophy, I have psych reading to do.
Wait!! I forgot!! I'm gonna try to bring some people trail riding in the mountains before fall ends. Probably next Sunday. I'm excited!! I love bringing people riding and miss it sooo much!!
I started reading Notes From Underground today by Dostoevsky (for those of you who don't know, he is my favorite author). It's really good!!!
" Tell me this: why did it happen that at the very, yes, at the very moment when I was most capable of recognizing every refinement of 'all the sublime and beautiful,' as we used to say at one time, I would, as though purposely, not only feel but do such hideous things, such that - well, in short, such as everyone probably does but which, as though purposely occured to me at the very time when I was most conscious that they ought not to be done. The more conscious I was of goodness, and of all that 'sublime and beautiful', the more deeply I sank into my mire and the more capable I became of sinking into it completely."
The quote gets better as it goes on, but I'll spare you the long read and not assume everyone to enjoy what I enjoy. Why do I like Dostoesky? He mixes philosophy, ethical debates and social debates in with a good story. As my English teach would say: His writing is rich. Everything in it is full of meaning and yet fun to read.
Speaking of philosophy, I have psych reading to do.
Wait!! I forgot!! I'm gonna try to bring some people trail riding in the mountains before fall ends. Probably next Sunday. I'm excited!! I love bringing people riding and miss it sooo much!!
Monday, October 11, 2004
I miss fall. I was walking back to my dorm today slower than usual from Spanish (I had extra time because we yet again let out early) watching the leaves fall. I love watching them slowly drift toward the ground, then get caught up in a breeze and soar and dance. Fall breezes are wonderful!! They're so....electric. They make me feel like dancing like the leaves do. I think I'll study in a tree sometime. I know I keep saying that, but I will!! At home, most of the leaves are already turned. Fall is making me miss home somewhat. It makes me want to go hiking or trail riding or rake up some leaves just to play in them. Remember playing in the leaves Heather while trying to avoid the lions? Everyone loves the bowl you made me by the way, even if they don't understand it =-) .
There is a fencing tournament this weekend. I"m excited in a way, but I'm really scared and nervous too. I'm afraid of getting my butt kicked by everyone. I know I'm going to lose, but I'm afraid of not getting any touches, or finding out I'm the worst sabre on the team or something like that. I know, I know, I'm new at this, but I hate being the complete worst at something, being absolutely terrible. What if I am and I just don't know it because I'm use to fencing the same people in practice? What if I don't actually understand right of way so all this time I've been thinking I've been getting touches when I haven't. Yeah, I know, I need to stop worrying or whatever.
Well, I am going to go eat. I think I made one of the members of my Monday, Wednesday, Friday lunch group mad on accident. If you see me when walking and you don't say anything, chances are that I won't see you. It's not that I'm being mean or rude, but I'm usually out of it or thinking about what I need to get done or just plain oblivious to the world, so please don't take offense.
There is a fencing tournament this weekend. I"m excited in a way, but I'm really scared and nervous too. I'm afraid of getting my butt kicked by everyone. I know I'm going to lose, but I'm afraid of not getting any touches, or finding out I'm the worst sabre on the team or something like that. I know, I know, I'm new at this, but I hate being the complete worst at something, being absolutely terrible. What if I am and I just don't know it because I'm use to fencing the same people in practice? What if I don't actually understand right of way so all this time I've been thinking I've been getting touches when I haven't. Yeah, I know, I need to stop worrying or whatever.
Well, I am going to go eat. I think I made one of the members of my Monday, Wednesday, Friday lunch group mad on accident. If you see me when walking and you don't say anything, chances are that I won't see you. It's not that I'm being mean or rude, but I'm usually out of it or thinking about what I need to get done or just plain oblivious to the world, so please don't take offense.
Sunday, October 10, 2004
Whew, what a weekend!!!!! It started out sad, but ended awesome!!! You see, I dropped calculus Friday. I walked into the classroom and talked to some of my classmates about my dropping the class (they were quite jealous) while I waited for the professor to arrive. She was not happy with me, but handed me my test, wished me luck, and I walked out the door. In the hall I glanced at my test and couldn't believe what I saw. Written on the top was "B Great Job!" I couldn't believe it. I realized at that moment, that although I still had a "C" on my midterm, I could pull it up before the semester ended. But now it was too late, I had just walked out. Looking back, it's a good thing that I dropped because I had to work so hard for that "B" that I neglected my other classes. Oh well. I went to go get a chai to cheer myself up, and the latte place was out of chai!!! So I shot pool with Chris and Josh until I met Mary and Emma to leave for NC.
The road trip to Asheville with Mary and Emma was awesome!!! I got them to dance in the drum circle at Prichard Park, took them up to the old bridge, took them shopping downtown (we were looking for fencing socks) and alot of random other stuff. We got no sleep, but we had an awesome time and found some really cute fencing socks. We got back to Clemson at 8pm, but decided to watch Anger Management at Mary's house and never left. You see, Talon came back from the NAC at 11pm and had a broken finger. Mary (Emma and I's ride back to the dorms) took care of his finger for him, than fell asleep on him. She look so cute that none of us could bare to wake her up. So Emma and I went for a walk thinking that maybe she'd be awake by the time we got back. But when we got back, Talon had fallen asleep to. So somewhere around 4:30 or 5am Emma and I curled up on the floor under some toweld (after some good times and goofing off) and fell asleep. Good times.
We had some fun philosophical conversations on the trip. Mary learned what new age was. We all want to take philosophy together next semester. And swing dancing. Speaking of philosophy, it was odd to see the ashevillians again. I had almost forgotten what it was like.
What's wrong with me ya'll?? I'm so confused. I really don't understand what's going on or myself for that matter. Pray for me. I need it.
I bought a bumper sticker this weekend. "Reality is for people who lack imagination". I'm going to put it on my fencing bag when I get one. Speaking of fencing, I'm going to be in a tournament this weekend in Columbia. I'm excited, but I'm really going to get my butt whooped. I'm hoping to get one touch each bout. Optimistic I know, but hey, it could happen. I'll have to use club gear for it because I havn't ordered any of my own stuff yet and all I have are the socks. I got really cute socks though!!! Club gear isn't bad though. I think I finally found a jacket that fits me and a mask too. When we were in Asheville, a store keeper got Mary, Emma and I started on talking about fencing....yea....we talked foever!!! I don't think he realized what he got himself into when he mentioned it. Once you get the three of us started, we'll talk fencing forever!!! It's awesome. We also came up with some new nick-names for people (*evil grin*). OOOH!! We saw the coolest knife!!! It was a curves blade with a dragon engraved on the blade and japanese writting engraved on the handle. The sheath was all decorated too. We were walking past the store and in unison we stopped, turned and stared at it, completely ignoring all the shiny jewelry around it. Obsessed? No, we're just sabre girls. We decided that the fencing team all needs to come up to Asheville and hang out. They'd love it. We also all need to go camping. It's be crazy crazy times.
Remember that conversation in the library Sunday night/Monday morning about how we're all becoming the same person? Yea...we have definetly all picked up eachothers mannerisms. Mary did the Talon fist, Emma spoke like Michael. It was funny. That was some good times that night in the library. We need to do that again sometime.
Okay...I'll stop talking about fencing and the trip or I'll go on forever.
Congrats to all the fencers who went to NAC!!!!! We we're cheering for you from a distance!!!
The road trip to Asheville with Mary and Emma was awesome!!! I got them to dance in the drum circle at Prichard Park, took them up to the old bridge, took them shopping downtown (we were looking for fencing socks) and alot of random other stuff. We got no sleep, but we had an awesome time and found some really cute fencing socks. We got back to Clemson at 8pm, but decided to watch Anger Management at Mary's house and never left. You see, Talon came back from the NAC at 11pm and had a broken finger. Mary (Emma and I's ride back to the dorms) took care of his finger for him, than fell asleep on him. She look so cute that none of us could bare to wake her up. So Emma and I went for a walk thinking that maybe she'd be awake by the time we got back. But when we got back, Talon had fallen asleep to. So somewhere around 4:30 or 5am Emma and I curled up on the floor under some toweld (after some good times and goofing off) and fell asleep. Good times.
We had some fun philosophical conversations on the trip. Mary learned what new age was. We all want to take philosophy together next semester. And swing dancing. Speaking of philosophy, it was odd to see the ashevillians again. I had almost forgotten what it was like.
What's wrong with me ya'll?? I'm so confused. I really don't understand what's going on or myself for that matter. Pray for me. I need it.
I bought a bumper sticker this weekend. "Reality is for people who lack imagination". I'm going to put it on my fencing bag when I get one. Speaking of fencing, I'm going to be in a tournament this weekend in Columbia. I'm excited, but I'm really going to get my butt whooped. I'm hoping to get one touch each bout. Optimistic I know, but hey, it could happen. I'll have to use club gear for it because I havn't ordered any of my own stuff yet and all I have are the socks. I got really cute socks though!!! Club gear isn't bad though. I think I finally found a jacket that fits me and a mask too. When we were in Asheville, a store keeper got Mary, Emma and I started on talking about fencing....yea....we talked foever!!! I don't think he realized what he got himself into when he mentioned it. Once you get the three of us started, we'll talk fencing forever!!! It's awesome. We also came up with some new nick-names for people (*evil grin*). OOOH!! We saw the coolest knife!!! It was a curves blade with a dragon engraved on the blade and japanese writting engraved on the handle. The sheath was all decorated too. We were walking past the store and in unison we stopped, turned and stared at it, completely ignoring all the shiny jewelry around it. Obsessed? No, we're just sabre girls. We decided that the fencing team all needs to come up to Asheville and hang out. They'd love it. We also all need to go camping. It's be crazy crazy times.
Remember that conversation in the library Sunday night/Monday morning about how we're all becoming the same person? Yea...we have definetly all picked up eachothers mannerisms. Mary did the Talon fist, Emma spoke like Michael. It was funny. That was some good times that night in the library. We need to do that again sometime.
Okay...I'll stop talking about fencing and the trip or I'll go on forever.
Congrats to all the fencers who went to NAC!!!!! We we're cheering for you from a distance!!!
Thursday, October 07, 2004
Gosh my side hurts, I thought as I woke up insanely early to finish my biology paper this morning, but shrugged it off. Little did I know I would be spending my whole day at Redfern. That really sucked.
The week of a million tests is finally almost over!! YAY!!!!!! I'm so tired by this point that when whoever is directing tonight calls fence, I'm not sure if I'll even be able to move.
I started to post more, but it was just boring rambling. I mean, I usually ramble, but this took boring rambling to a new level. Maybe I'll post again later when I'm more awake (if I'm ever more awake).
The week of a million tests is finally almost over!! YAY!!!!!! I'm so tired by this point that when whoever is directing tonight calls fence, I'm not sure if I'll even be able to move.
I started to post more, but it was just boring rambling. I mean, I usually ramble, but this took boring rambling to a new level. Maybe I'll post again later when I'm more awake (if I'm ever more awake).
Tuesday, October 05, 2004
It has been such a wretched day!!!!!!! Worse than I expected.
First, my professor tears me apart in the debate again today (although the bioethics expert speaker complimented me on what I had said after class). The debate counted as a quiz grade, and if his distaste for what I said shows up in my grade, I will no be happy.
Than, after struggling through half a semester in Calculus 2, I found out that I do not need any calculus for my major or any major I am even considering. This would have been helpful information during my advising meeting over the summer when I was getting ready to sign up for classes. But now its too late to drop without getting a W. Although W's aren't bad, it will not look the best if I want to go to medical school. Also, after I have worked this hard and gotten this far it would suck to drop it. But if I don'r drop it, I'll be cutting it close to keep my scholarship and I spend 2 to 3 hours a day on calculus stuff outside of class. I have until Friday to decide what I'm going to do. When I found out, I just went back to the dorm and cried. I don't deal with stress well, and it was either cry or throw stuff across the room and I do not believe my roommate would have appretiated the second.
Also, since my advisor was late for the meeting and the meeting took so long, I didn't get to do half as much studying as I needed to get done. Looks like I'll be up until 4am....again. Sunday night, I didn't get back to my dorm until 3am. When I got back, there were people in it talking. They refused to leave until 4am. I thought I was going to strangle someone.
My knee was doing so well that in practice last night, I tried to do the deep lunges again and bout normal. It didn't hurt yesterday, but today I nearly didn't make it up the stairs of Martin to my calculus class (that I shouldn't be going to anyway cause I don't need it!!!!!!!! Can you tell I'm mad about that?). That's just so frustrating. Will the dumb thing ever heal!!!!
Not to mention this weekend is turning into a complete mess. I don't know what to do. Arg.
Since I'm on a rant already, I'll just add a few less significant items. The woman who gave me a shot today at Redfern missed and hit a nerve. My whole arm crapped up and was sore for half an hour. That may not seem like a long time, but after you received a shot in a nerve it feels like forever.
I don't see how I'm going to get all my homework done. Yes, I know I'm saying that while wasting time blogging, but I dont' have enough time to start on homework and get anything accomplished before leaving for fencing.
Have I mentioned yet that I'm in a class wasting time when I don't have to?
Well, I guess I should shut up and go get ready for fencing.
First, my professor tears me apart in the debate again today (although the bioethics expert speaker complimented me on what I had said after class). The debate counted as a quiz grade, and if his distaste for what I said shows up in my grade, I will no be happy.
Than, after struggling through half a semester in Calculus 2, I found out that I do not need any calculus for my major or any major I am even considering. This would have been helpful information during my advising meeting over the summer when I was getting ready to sign up for classes. But now its too late to drop without getting a W. Although W's aren't bad, it will not look the best if I want to go to medical school. Also, after I have worked this hard and gotten this far it would suck to drop it. But if I don'r drop it, I'll be cutting it close to keep my scholarship and I spend 2 to 3 hours a day on calculus stuff outside of class. I have until Friday to decide what I'm going to do. When I found out, I just went back to the dorm and cried. I don't deal with stress well, and it was either cry or throw stuff across the room and I do not believe my roommate would have appretiated the second.
Also, since my advisor was late for the meeting and the meeting took so long, I didn't get to do half as much studying as I needed to get done. Looks like I'll be up until 4am....again. Sunday night, I didn't get back to my dorm until 3am. When I got back, there were people in it talking. They refused to leave until 4am. I thought I was going to strangle someone.
My knee was doing so well that in practice last night, I tried to do the deep lunges again and bout normal. It didn't hurt yesterday, but today I nearly didn't make it up the stairs of Martin to my calculus class (that I shouldn't be going to anyway cause I don't need it!!!!!!!! Can you tell I'm mad about that?). That's just so frustrating. Will the dumb thing ever heal!!!!
Not to mention this weekend is turning into a complete mess. I don't know what to do. Arg.
Since I'm on a rant already, I'll just add a few less significant items. The woman who gave me a shot today at Redfern missed and hit a nerve. My whole arm crapped up and was sore for half an hour. That may not seem like a long time, but after you received a shot in a nerve it feels like forever.
I don't see how I'm going to get all my homework done. Yes, I know I'm saying that while wasting time blogging, but I dont' have enough time to start on homework and get anything accomplished before leaving for fencing.
Have I mentioned yet that I'm in a class wasting time when I don't have to?
Well, I guess I should shut up and go get ready for fencing.
Monday, October 04, 2004
Last night was the longest I have spent in the library. We were there from 7pm to 2am. Studying the whole time? Not so much, but I did get quite a good deal done. Yet what happens when you put a group of five fencers together late at night with caffine and a tenis ball? Yeah.... good times.... Man the look on those two girls' faces was funny!!!
Did I learn anything? John is very funny when giddy, all the fencers eventually sound like Michael, an interesting prank that I had not considered, warm air comes through vents in the ground, and...well..I think you get the jist.
I did have fun talking philosophy. I miss that so much!! Late night conversations with Bill, Britt and Kelsey discussing postmoderism and existentialism. I met a guy who is an extistentialist and claims to be so. It was really fun to hear what he thinks. I think I got a bit to excited and tried too hard to make counter points. If I can get the topic to come up again, I think I'd like to back down and hear what he has to say. I love philosophy.
Talon grounded me, but I'm ungrounded now 'cause he forgot what he grounded me for, YAY!
The fencing tournament was awesome!!! Congrats to Jason, Ed and Brooks!
I have four tests and a quiz this week. I'm going to die!! At least I already finished one today. It was easy though, only took ten minutes. Gotta love those.
I hate ending posts cause I never know how. I can never write conclusions to papers. Maybe things just shouldn't end. I mean, it would suck for a thing to go on forever because there is not enough information or interest for most things to go on forever (nor time for that matter), but thought does not end. I can end my post here, but my thoughts don't come to a logical end that others would see as logical. A conclusion creates the necessary logical end. But if my thoughts don't come to a logical end because there is so much more I could say, then there is no way to make a logical conclusion. And I hate things without conclusions because they leave my thoughts hanging and I will continue to go through the thing in my head because there is no resolution. I just can't write resolutions myself. I don't know. Does it seem to anyone else that humans have a need for resolution in music, movies, books, but life itself does not offer these resolutions? An unresolved movie is psychologically proven to leave a bad taste in someone's mouth (figuratively speaking), but life almost never resolves itself. We reach for an unattainable, optimistic goal of resolution despite reality. It seems like we humans like to drift toward optimism over reality. Talking to a humanist or an existentialist, they'll tell you that their beliefs are utopian and optimistic, and some of them may even admit that they are almost unreal. Yet they continue to believe them. Idealism over reality, comfort over truth. It may not work in society, but it works for me. Why is there such a strong draw to this? Why do we humans love to play Don Quixote and fence our windmills and ride our fences? Why, when the truth is actually freeing, do we run from it as though it is oppression? Why do we fear absolutes?
So what happens when reality finally hits? When our castles of sand, once so glorious, are smashed by the waves of an absolute, undeniable truth?
I just started typing randomly, and this is were I ended up. I could continue, but I have a small things called class to go to. No, I won't delete it even though it will read unlogically because my hands couldn't keep up with my jumps in thought. It reminds me of what Razumikhin said in Dostoyevsky's Crime and Punishment:
" Do you think I care if they talk nonsense? Hogwash! I love nonsense! Talking nonsense is man's only privilege that distinguishes him from all other organisms. If you keep talking big nonsense, you will get to sense! I am a man, therefore I talk nonsense. Nobody ever got to a single truth without talking nonsense fourteen times first. Maybe ever a hundred and fourteen."
They quote goes on and gets even better, but I'll quote it someother time. I've procrastinated too long on my homework and I must eat some lunch at some point. I love Dostoyevsky though. He's probably my favorite writer. If you can read only one thing by him, read The Brothers Karamosov. Think with philosophy and long, but a good read if you stick with it. Crime and Punishment is really good too, though. Pardon my nonsense, for now I must go listen to more nonsense.
Did I learn anything? John is very funny when giddy, all the fencers eventually sound like Michael, an interesting prank that I had not considered, warm air comes through vents in the ground, and...well..I think you get the jist.
I did have fun talking philosophy. I miss that so much!! Late night conversations with Bill, Britt and Kelsey discussing postmoderism and existentialism. I met a guy who is an extistentialist and claims to be so. It was really fun to hear what he thinks. I think I got a bit to excited and tried too hard to make counter points. If I can get the topic to come up again, I think I'd like to back down and hear what he has to say. I love philosophy.
Talon grounded me, but I'm ungrounded now 'cause he forgot what he grounded me for, YAY!
The fencing tournament was awesome!!! Congrats to Jason, Ed and Brooks!
I have four tests and a quiz this week. I'm going to die!! At least I already finished one today. It was easy though, only took ten minutes. Gotta love those.
I hate ending posts cause I never know how. I can never write conclusions to papers. Maybe things just shouldn't end. I mean, it would suck for a thing to go on forever because there is not enough information or interest for most things to go on forever (nor time for that matter), but thought does not end. I can end my post here, but my thoughts don't come to a logical end that others would see as logical. A conclusion creates the necessary logical end. But if my thoughts don't come to a logical end because there is so much more I could say, then there is no way to make a logical conclusion. And I hate things without conclusions because they leave my thoughts hanging and I will continue to go through the thing in my head because there is no resolution. I just can't write resolutions myself. I don't know. Does it seem to anyone else that humans have a need for resolution in music, movies, books, but life itself does not offer these resolutions? An unresolved movie is psychologically proven to leave a bad taste in someone's mouth (figuratively speaking), but life almost never resolves itself. We reach for an unattainable, optimistic goal of resolution despite reality. It seems like we humans like to drift toward optimism over reality. Talking to a humanist or an existentialist, they'll tell you that their beliefs are utopian and optimistic, and some of them may even admit that they are almost unreal. Yet they continue to believe them. Idealism over reality, comfort over truth. It may not work in society, but it works for me. Why is there such a strong draw to this? Why do we humans love to play Don Quixote and fence our windmills and ride our fences? Why, when the truth is actually freeing, do we run from it as though it is oppression? Why do we fear absolutes?
So what happens when reality finally hits? When our castles of sand, once so glorious, are smashed by the waves of an absolute, undeniable truth?
I just started typing randomly, and this is were I ended up. I could continue, but I have a small things called class to go to. No, I won't delete it even though it will read unlogically because my hands couldn't keep up with my jumps in thought. It reminds me of what Razumikhin said in Dostoyevsky's Crime and Punishment:
" Do you think I care if they talk nonsense? Hogwash! I love nonsense! Talking nonsense is man's only privilege that distinguishes him from all other organisms. If you keep talking big nonsense, you will get to sense! I am a man, therefore I talk nonsense. Nobody ever got to a single truth without talking nonsense fourteen times first. Maybe ever a hundred and fourteen."
They quote goes on and gets even better, but I'll quote it someother time. I've procrastinated too long on my homework and I must eat some lunch at some point. I love Dostoyevsky though. He's probably my favorite writer. If you can read only one thing by him, read The Brothers Karamosov. Think with philosophy and long, but a good read if you stick with it. Crime and Punishment is really good too, though. Pardon my nonsense, for now I must go listen to more nonsense.
