Ramblings of a Wandering Luney

Very glad to come home to an empty apartment. Electronics must hate me, cause after my cell phone fell in a sewer (Matt's my hero for rescuing it), my computer wouldn't work. It was nice to just play loud music (once I got my computer working), unpack and relax.

Break was really good. Wednesday I spent cooking with mom. Translated into English this means I did all the cooking while she cleaned up the house. It was fun though, we put on music and I love to cook. That night I went to Asiana with Heather, Jud, and Sarah. They had an all you can eat sushi bar which was huge!! It was great! It was fun to finally meet Jud. He seems like a nice guy, and he really likes Sarah which is good cause he's crazy about her. I enjoyed catching up with Heather and remember all the reasons we get along so well. We went downtown to Old Europe (in its new location). It was so weird! It's now a nice sit down place, no longer the place a rowdy soccer team could go after a game. Maybe, but it'd feel outa place. No longer carnations for Bill to steal, but roses. Off the the bookstore and wandering the streets. Church street with all its beauty. Exploring...even after all these years finding places we never knew existed.

Jud was still over when I got back, so I talked for alittle while more before heading to bed. Up the next morning for more cooking and cleaning. Joyce, Jud, and Jud's parents came for Thanksgiving. It was good to meet them, but it felt awkward somehow. I couldn't shake that feeling. After dinner, his parents stayed and the awkwardness overwhelmed me, so I snuck away to my room to read until time to say goodbye. Conversations with dad...always interesting and often difficult topics. Suckered into watching Gray's Anatomy... Yea...I knew there was a reason I didn't watch it. More reading, bed. Woke up later than I wanted, got the chicken soup started before running out with mom to shop. The stores were a zoo, but I love spending time with her and we got some Christmas shopping done.

Charleston was fun. I enjoyed getting to spend some time with him and his family. Shopping with the girls was fun, even though I'm not very girly. It was nice to go to the docks and look out at the ocean, it was nice walking around downtown and sitting and talking over coffee. It all went by so fast. Clemson lost :-(

So, I need to stop planning what I'm going to do before the day starts...or, well, getting excited about things before they happen, cause when they fall through or don't happen like I thought they would, I tend to get disappointed. Its always weird to be around me family cause I see little idiosyncracies in them which I have, the good and the bad. Kinda fun in a way. Oh! I learned to play dominos. Yea...random.

hmm...what to say? I postd last week..well wrote it, waited to post it, forgot about it and shut downmy computer...so I guess it doesn't count as posting if it never gets posted. Nothing important anyhow.

So...I'm back to attending my classes which is good I suppose. I realized why it had become so easy to skip. Two classes the professors read straight of the slide, not adding anything to it, and the slides are online. One class is easy and I learned most of it last semester, and one class I learn better on my own. The last class I actually attended, the one time i missed i was really sick and what I missed ended up on the tests.... c'est la vie. But yea, back to going to classes. I don't think I screwed myself over at least. I just checked the syllabus and found out one professor has a strict attendence policy. At least its on I didn't skip much and I usually had a good reason. So I think I'll be fine. The semester is almost over! Happy and sad for that.

Speaking of next semester, I'm really excited and ready to be doing the red cross stuff. I wish I could start right now. I'm ready to be serving in some way. I mean, I translate at the clinic, but that's not often and there is a professional translator with me, so its not like I'm helping too much, only when it gets busy. It'll be good to work on my spanish too. I'm nervous about going too...I hate leaving people here. I'm almost afraid of getting close to any friends cause I'm afraid of coming back. I know, its dumb, I just don't want to get hurt, or feel really left out when I get back. Our study abroad person wasnt' encouraging about it either. Oh well.

Did you know, when I was little, everytime before we left the house as a family I would cry because I thought they all were going to leave without me? Yea...irrational and most likely annoying to my family. My family had never left without me, so there wasn't a reason behind it, just fear. I still get that way with people. Fear they're just going to move on and forget me. Irrational and pretty dumb I know, but its just a fear.

shouldn't have. Oh well.

I'm so happy for Sarah!

Hadn't thought about it before...darn, now I'm thinking about it...

One more test to go, then break and an easy week til finals. I'm excited about meeting Jud over break. I hear mom and Dad and her friends all love him. It means a lot to her that i like him as well. Charleston for the weekend. SO all in all should be easy and enjoyable. Its going to be rough for everyone else though so it may get pretty boring for me. Maybe I'll bake for people to cheer up there week. That's always fun.

Can you believe I'll be in Spain in just over a month?? Crazy, hard to believe for me. It feels so unreal, like something I dream and joke about but will never actually happen. He's going to visit me!! Funny, I'm excited about it and I'm not even in Spain yet.

Oh! I nearly forgot. Friday night I got to spend time alone with Brittany. Rare, because Jared or Gina are almost always there. It was so nice. She's very easy to talk to and we are very similar (which I had never known before this semester).

So..I should get the Darwin Award's honorable mention for this one. Last night I realized it was the fourth day since I taken my medicine... it was late at night, I had been working on homework and I didn't think you could OD on it cause its just hormones right? What will it do, make me more moody? So I took all four pills and went to bed. I slept sooo soundly. I woke up feeling horribly sick and hurting. I force myself to physics where I can't concentrate as he rattles on about relativity. I was going to go to my spanish class to tell my prof that I couldn't stay becasue I was sick...but felt so bad that I just went home and slept for a good hour. After that I was functional enough to go on with my day. Boy can I be dumb sometimes. And I'm a health major?? Oh goodness.

I've realized lately why its so hard to go to classes. In two classes the prof reads straight from the slide adding no new information. Another class is a review of last year. One I understand better when I learn it on my own. That leaves only one useful class, which is the only one I had never skipped until today. Oh well, the semester is almost over right?

Weekend was good. Cosmic bowling was a lot of fun. I enjoy hanging out with them. Thanksgiving dinner was nice too. But it was a bit odd cause I'm not use to that group being so calm and quiet. So.. my sister is crazy about this new guy...it'll be interesting to meet him...I really hope he's a good guy. Homework all day Sunday and most of Monday. Last physics lab ever!! At least I've had motivation to do homework. It'd be bad if i had none whatsoever. So if I've been moody the last day or two. Just tire. Overall, life is good. Movie and House tonight. Whoo!!!

(Happy Birthday)

Break was pretty good overall.
I knew she was dying, but it still took my by surprise and was harder on me than I expected.
It was good to hang out with Dad and get to talk to him. Lunch was amazing, I love sea food.
Being with Amy was great. It was the perfect day for trail riding and the horses were very well behaved. I really enjoyed getting to hang out with her and talk to her. I'm going to miss her so much! She's definitely one of my closest friends here, my closest friend who is a girl. I was having a hard time with that this morning. That on top of being bored was a bad mix. No one was around to help me take my mind off it and there was nothing to do that could keep my attention long enough to help either. I really felt like I was going insane. Eventually I called up the camping people. I felt bad calling them and intruding, but I really needed to get out. It was good to see them. Goodbye party and House. I wanted to stay out and do something, but everyone was going to bed, so I figured I'd post for a bit. Nothing interesting really. I'm afraid to talk too much about my thoughts because I don't trust my thoughts. I wonder sometimes what's real and what's me just being caught up in the emotion of a moment. I do need to see a doctor though, a real one and not redfern. My heart has been doing funny things lately, which is normal for my family, but its never been this much for me. Makes me a bit nervous since I do sports. When the rhythm changes I get dizzy and my muscles feel weak and my chest hurts. I know its nothing, well...its what is normal for my family, but I want to make sure before I keep running hard with it. I feel so confused now. Talking with dad always confuses me. I love talking to him, its just not easy. Wow, this post sounds so depressive, but its really not. I don't feel like life is going badly or is that hard. For the most part its been very good. I guess the journal is the best place to talk about what's hard or bothering me. I dunno, I need sleep. I've been so emotionally unstable, maybe sleep will help. Goodnight.

Ugh, such a close and disappointing game. I made breakfast beforehand. It was fun at first, cooking with Amy and Gina...but then no one I asked to came actually made it and a bunch of people I didn't know came. So Amy and I retreated off together which was fun. Girls group watching the game oh yea! Courtney, Amy and I cheered on our Tigers to no avail. I love having people over to the apartment and cooking for them. Well..didn't really cook, I grilled up hamburgers and baked cookies, but it was fun. I just really love that environment with a small group. We got completely raped in taboo though by the boys team, daggum brothers and roommates. I enjoyed the peace and quiet for a bit, it was alittle awkward when they came back and become increasinly so. But I was tired and ready for bed anyway.

Mom found my passport!!! I'm so happy!! It'll save me so much stress and money, not to mention that it was found right before I'm going home anyway. I'm excited about the next couple of days: daddy meeting me in Greenville and riding with Amy, even if we don't get to go to as exciting of a place to do it. I'm going to miss her so much. She is one of my closest friends here, someone who I can talk to about anything. She has a good heart.

This last week was great and fairly relaxing. Mostly just hanging out. There was a lot of work that I should have done...but definitely didn't get around to doing. That's ok though, I'm confident I can pick up the slack. It was just a really good week. I needed that.

Yea.. I know...I'm head over heels for him.

I had more time to think today. Starting thinking about old friends and where they are and how they're doing. Especially Keri and Kim. I hope Kim is alright. I wonder if she's back from Iraq. I wish I was better at keeping up with people...I'm really bad about that.

Well...The benadryl is starting to kick in now so I should probably get some sleep. Buenas noches.