Thursday, October 16, 2008
Its been a good week. Its hard to say that today cause I'm tired and sore and don't feel like working as much as I have to today, but really and truely it has been a good week. I've gotten to spend more time with my amazing husband than I've gotten to in awhile and have really enjoyed that. He is so overwhelmed with work, jobs stuff and school that its made him physically ill. I wish that there was more I could do to support him and love on him. I just don't know what I can do. I want to know how to love him better.
Hanging out with Brittany was wonderful as well. We both realized that we need to do that more often: have time with another girl who knows you well. Its easy for me to get caught up in work then just want to laze around when I have spare time rather than really digging deep with another person beyond doing that with my husband.
Working at the restaurant last night was a bit busy/stressful but fun. Its nice to have a place where I can talk to people and relax in between waiting tables. I also got a free dinner! Which is always nice.
Last Sunday I had off from work and was able to be at home most of monday. That's what gave Matt and some time to reconnect, talk about life issues, and just hang out and watch TV We also made a pumpkin pie and pumpkin bread. My heart really needed that time. Matt also told his life story at HC. I knew alot of it, but I never knew how he felt or what he thought throughout the different phases of his life, so that was really cool.
This weekend we'll be in Charleston. I was really looking forward to it, but now I'm not so sure. Matt's schedule came out crazy so I won't see him as much as I usually do and the room situation isn't going to work out like we hoped. I'm really nervous we'll share a room with his parents. I know he's comfortable with it, but it'd be really awkward for me. But we'll see what happens. Rooming assignments should be out today.
Linguistically, I feel that I'm hanging on by a thread. Once I am speaking in Spanish with a native speaker, I'm fine, but when I try to at home, I wind up with a French accent. I'm doing well not mixing words from languages (happens sometimes at home I do or in my head, but thankfull never in class or at the clinic). I'm picking up French easily, but I still feel like the class is going too fast and at the end I'll forget it all quickly. I wish I had more time and more places to practice. I wish i could be back in France even if just for a few days to really work on it. I also with I could be around all spanish speakers for just a few days! The good thing is, the more French I'm learning, the more Spanish and English grammar questions I have. I need to know the Spanish and English grammar better to be and interpreter/translator. The problem is that I learned those two languages mostly the natural way: picking it up through listening and experience. So I don't have a good grasp on the grammatical structure. I do have a good book, when I have some free time again (maybe this weekend), I'll probably go through it and figure out what the spanish equivalents are.
Ciao!
Hanging out with Brittany was wonderful as well. We both realized that we need to do that more often: have time with another girl who knows you well. Its easy for me to get caught up in work then just want to laze around when I have spare time rather than really digging deep with another person beyond doing that with my husband.
Working at the restaurant last night was a bit busy/stressful but fun. Its nice to have a place where I can talk to people and relax in between waiting tables. I also got a free dinner! Which is always nice.
Last Sunday I had off from work and was able to be at home most of monday. That's what gave Matt and some time to reconnect, talk about life issues, and just hang out and watch TV We also made a pumpkin pie and pumpkin bread. My heart really needed that time. Matt also told his life story at HC. I knew alot of it, but I never knew how he felt or what he thought throughout the different phases of his life, so that was really cool.
This weekend we'll be in Charleston. I was really looking forward to it, but now I'm not so sure. Matt's schedule came out crazy so I won't see him as much as I usually do and the room situation isn't going to work out like we hoped. I'm really nervous we'll share a room with his parents. I know he's comfortable with it, but it'd be really awkward for me. But we'll see what happens. Rooming assignments should be out today.
Linguistically, I feel that I'm hanging on by a thread. Once I am speaking in Spanish with a native speaker, I'm fine, but when I try to at home, I wind up with a French accent. I'm doing well not mixing words from languages (happens sometimes at home I do or in my head, but thankfull never in class or at the clinic). I'm picking up French easily, but I still feel like the class is going too fast and at the end I'll forget it all quickly. I wish I had more time and more places to practice. I wish i could be back in France even if just for a few days to really work on it. I also with I could be around all spanish speakers for just a few days! The good thing is, the more French I'm learning, the more Spanish and English grammar questions I have. I need to know the Spanish and English grammar better to be and interpreter/translator. The problem is that I learned those two languages mostly the natural way: picking it up through listening and experience. So I don't have a good grasp on the grammatical structure. I do have a good book, when I have some free time again (maybe this weekend), I'll probably go through it and figure out what the spanish equivalents are.
Ciao!
Thursday, October 09, 2008
So, its been a long time, yea? Feels like forever since I've blogged and I don't know how long I'll stick with it. I need and outlet, a place to process... to breathe. Blogging does make me miss the old days sometimes and the old crew. But life now is good. Married, hoping to move to Spain to study interpretation and translation, two cute cats, decent jobs...Good yea? At the same time, I'm so busy I am missing the close connection of good friends apart from my husband. I miss having my group of girls I see consistently, not once every few weeks. I miss deep, real conversations, again outside of just my husband. I have friends, I just don't have the time for real, deep relationships. It feels like neither does anyone else I know right now. Besides, most everyone I knew has moved away now.
Its also weird, I thought it would be easier to "leave" my family when I got married. I never felt overly attached, but now that its fall I miss going home. I miss walking into the house and seeing the fallish way mom has decorated the house, I miss morning talks with dad and late night talks with mom, I miss riding and hiking and camping more often. Again, I love being married and having our own home, waking up next to my husband, but whenever I go through any stage of life, I'm notorious for feeling the loss of the last season of life. You know?
Which makes me think about what is to come. No matter where we end up, we know its going to be very different and far away from where we are. I'm enjoying the place where we are now, but I'm also excited about where we are going. I think its a healthy balance because I can live and enjoy now without fear of where we are going. Don't get me wrong, I get fearful at times. I mean, we're moving to who knows where in less than 3 months. I guess what scares me the most is that Matt hasn't had enough time to do his work here and apply for jobs. It makes me fearful that the time will come and we will have no where to go. But at the same time I know that won't happen.
Marriage. Marriage is an amazing thing. I do believe it is a way that God makes us holier because, in living with someone so closely for so long, we cannot hide our shortcomings and, in order to make it as a couple, we have to grow and change. I've seen big changes in both of us since we've gotten married (only 5 months ago!). Its beautiful, hurtful, challenging...and most of all points me back to the only One who can change me.
Time to focus on work before I get myself fired.
Its also weird, I thought it would be easier to "leave" my family when I got married. I never felt overly attached, but now that its fall I miss going home. I miss walking into the house and seeing the fallish way mom has decorated the house, I miss morning talks with dad and late night talks with mom, I miss riding and hiking and camping more often. Again, I love being married and having our own home, waking up next to my husband, but whenever I go through any stage of life, I'm notorious for feeling the loss of the last season of life. You know?
Which makes me think about what is to come. No matter where we end up, we know its going to be very different and far away from where we are. I'm enjoying the place where we are now, but I'm also excited about where we are going. I think its a healthy balance because I can live and enjoy now without fear of where we are going. Don't get me wrong, I get fearful at times. I mean, we're moving to who knows where in less than 3 months. I guess what scares me the most is that Matt hasn't had enough time to do his work here and apply for jobs. It makes me fearful that the time will come and we will have no where to go. But at the same time I know that won't happen.
Marriage. Marriage is an amazing thing. I do believe it is a way that God makes us holier because, in living with someone so closely for so long, we cannot hide our shortcomings and, in order to make it as a couple, we have to grow and change. I've seen big changes in both of us since we've gotten married (only 5 months ago!). Its beautiful, hurtful, challenging...and most of all points me back to the only One who can change me.
Time to focus on work before I get myself fired.
