Saturday, March 11, 2006
Friday morning: bad, frustrating, I really hate groups.
Friday evening/night/Saturday morning: wonderful! Tara and I drove up to NC to see a play, Tartuffe. It was really good, really funny, not to mention the dinner was great. Also, the youth group was serving to make money for their mission trip over the summer so I got to see some old friends which was cool. It was fun getting to hang out with my family some, especially Sarah. I don't get to see her much. It was weird not having Trixie run out to greet me, but at least Nemo is still there. Drezel is still missing though...Nemo was noticibly lonely. We met Michael's twin at Blockbuster!! At least he could have been Michael's twin..same appearence, mannerism, speech, everything!! It was kinda eerie in a way. Just Friends was a funny movie. Cooking breakfast was a blast. Not to mention world market is my favorite place. Mom bought me cages for the mice so they won't keep chewing their way out. I told her not too, that tin cans would work fine... but she didn't listen =-) It was fun spending time with Tara. We're both experiencing the same kind of thing: feeling left out by friends. We don't get invited places, then they talk about it in front of us. Like a group going to dinner at jared's or going to a movie or going to get coffee... We don't get asked but they talk about how excited they are about going when they're around us. Its really hurtful. Even worse is most of the people doing it are my roommates next year... Maybe it'll get better once I'm living with them and as I keep inviting them places. They usually are busy when I ask, but hopefully if I ask enough we'll get to hang out sometime. Amy Brunson is back though!! I'm sooo excited! ugh, I should probably get back to studying...this test next week is gonna kick my butt if I'm not careful...maybe I'll find motivation to study at the coffee shop....
Friday evening/night/Saturday morning: wonderful! Tara and I drove up to NC to see a play, Tartuffe. It was really good, really funny, not to mention the dinner was great. Also, the youth group was serving to make money for their mission trip over the summer so I got to see some old friends which was cool. It was fun getting to hang out with my family some, especially Sarah. I don't get to see her much. It was weird not having Trixie run out to greet me, but at least Nemo is still there. Drezel is still missing though...Nemo was noticibly lonely. We met Michael's twin at Blockbuster!! At least he could have been Michael's twin..same appearence, mannerism, speech, everything!! It was kinda eerie in a way. Just Friends was a funny movie. Cooking breakfast was a blast. Not to mention world market is my favorite place. Mom bought me cages for the mice so they won't keep chewing their way out. I told her not too, that tin cans would work fine... but she didn't listen =-) It was fun spending time with Tara. We're both experiencing the same kind of thing: feeling left out by friends. We don't get invited places, then they talk about it in front of us. Like a group going to dinner at jared's or going to a movie or going to get coffee... We don't get asked but they talk about how excited they are about going when they're around us. Its really hurtful. Even worse is most of the people doing it are my roommates next year... Maybe it'll get better once I'm living with them and as I keep inviting them places. They usually are busy when I ask, but hopefully if I ask enough we'll get to hang out sometime. Amy Brunson is back though!! I'm sooo excited! ugh, I should probably get back to studying...this test next week is gonna kick my butt if I'm not careful...maybe I'll find motivation to study at the coffee shop....
Friday, March 10, 2006
Hmm..not much to say. We lost in the play-offs (both teams). Mono kinda caught up with my by Thursday...oh well. Classes are going well, its sunny and beautiful out which means I can't help but smile. And...Amy Brunson is back!! I missed her the last couple of weeks. Its felt like she has been gone even longer than that. Tonight I'm driving up to NC to see a play with Tara. That'll be some good girl bonding time. I feel really disconnected with the girls on the hall lately...I just feel like I don't really fit in with them or I'm really different. I dunno. I enjoy hanging out with them, but i don't really click with them too well... I dunno how to explain it. Maybe that will change next year when I'm living with three of them... We signed up for room assignments yesterday. I'm living in Calhoun with Gina, Brittany and Kalin. I don't know which one I am rooming with yet, but it should be fun living with them and getting to know them better (cause I don't really know them that well). Lunch with Brittany was good the other day, I think I'll really enjoy getting to know her better. I apologize to all you who I have snapped at this last week...although PMS is not a valid excuse for that...I was really PMSy all week...and with being tired plus mono...yea...probably wasn't a fun person to be around....
I keep praying God will give me passion, that He will help me to love, that He will help me to stop pushing people away from me, but I don't feel it. I have a desire to seek him, yes, and I enjoy getting into the word, but I am missing that passion, that amazement of who He is and what He has done. I mean, I know it, but I'm not living or completely feeling that passion which reflects it. I know if I keep asking, He'll be faithful and help me, and in the mean time He is trying to teach me something...but its hard...I want to be passionate and have a love for Him and others that's completley undeniable and flows over into every other facet of my life.
I'm also a little nervous about writing that english curriculum...I'm not sure if I'll have it done on time...and I need to raise money. I know that He'll find a way to work out both things, but its so hard to rest in that and not be nervous. It just feels like such a daunting task at the moment. I'm hoping to get a lot done over spring break, and then after school lets out I'll have a bit of time.
Oh, mice chew through everything and are crafty...especially if they are hyperactive from being on nicotine... I told my professor I wanted to strap parachutes on them and throw them out the window. He said I had to wait til after the experiment, but after the experiment he could think of a lot of funny stuff to do to the mice...including putting them in various people's rooms..I haver great professors.
Well, I'm off to open lab to study the arteries and veins of a dissected cat and a pig heart then off to a skills lab to practice doing health assessments on people and getting graded for it..then the weekend is finally here!!! Soo many people are going to be gone this weekend..it'll be weird, but that means I'll get a lot of work done (I hope) which is good because I have four tests next week and a paper due...Have a glorious weekend!!
I keep praying God will give me passion, that He will help me to love, that He will help me to stop pushing people away from me, but I don't feel it. I have a desire to seek him, yes, and I enjoy getting into the word, but I am missing that passion, that amazement of who He is and what He has done. I mean, I know it, but I'm not living or completely feeling that passion which reflects it. I know if I keep asking, He'll be faithful and help me, and in the mean time He is trying to teach me something...but its hard...I want to be passionate and have a love for Him and others that's completley undeniable and flows over into every other facet of my life.
I'm also a little nervous about writing that english curriculum...I'm not sure if I'll have it done on time...and I need to raise money. I know that He'll find a way to work out both things, but its so hard to rest in that and not be nervous. It just feels like such a daunting task at the moment. I'm hoping to get a lot done over spring break, and then after school lets out I'll have a bit of time.
Oh, mice chew through everything and are crafty...especially if they are hyperactive from being on nicotine... I told my professor I wanted to strap parachutes on them and throw them out the window. He said I had to wait til after the experiment, but after the experiment he could think of a lot of funny stuff to do to the mice...including putting them in various people's rooms..I haver great professors.
Well, I'm off to open lab to study the arteries and veins of a dissected cat and a pig heart then off to a skills lab to practice doing health assessments on people and getting graded for it..then the weekend is finally here!!! Soo many people are going to be gone this weekend..it'll be weird, but that means I'll get a lot of work done (I hope) which is good because I have four tests next week and a paper due...Have a glorious weekend!!
Tuesday, March 07, 2006
I woke up early this morning because I was having bad dreams. So...now I have a bit of extra time to kill before class.
I've been moody lately, sorta. Moody as in going from really happy to blah to bad mood to just fine to....yea.. I hate being a girl sometimes.
So, both teams made play-offs!! But...a bunch of people can't make it to either game...so...I'm just happy we made it this far. I doubt I physically could take more than one game anyhow.
I've been tempted lately to get another online journal..something about having a different one that would make me feel like I can be more open. There's just a couple of things I've been struggling with and it just feels too personal for something so open... I dunno.
I switched bible study groups cause my group starting meeting on a day that I couldn't make. Although I loved my old group, I really like the new one. I was already close to a couple of girls in that group anyway. We're going through women in the bible and studying what it means to be a woman of God. I'm really excited about it. Its something I've been searching out in my own life. I definitely don't live it or completely understand it...course I never will, and I know its a lifetime process, but yet. Speaking of bible studies, God really kicked my butt this morning about my lack of love for others (again). Just seeing the way Paul loved the Thessalonians and risked everything and was persecuted to see them joyful and full of faith and encouragement. I haven't been loving the people around me like that. I want to. I'm praying He will help change my heart.
Learning...everything is a learning process.
More later. Maybe.
I've been moody lately, sorta. Moody as in going from really happy to blah to bad mood to just fine to....yea.. I hate being a girl sometimes.
So, both teams made play-offs!! But...a bunch of people can't make it to either game...so...I'm just happy we made it this far. I doubt I physically could take more than one game anyhow.
I've been tempted lately to get another online journal..something about having a different one that would make me feel like I can be more open. There's just a couple of things I've been struggling with and it just feels too personal for something so open... I dunno.
I switched bible study groups cause my group starting meeting on a day that I couldn't make. Although I loved my old group, I really like the new one. I was already close to a couple of girls in that group anyway. We're going through women in the bible and studying what it means to be a woman of God. I'm really excited about it. Its something I've been searching out in my own life. I definitely don't live it or completely understand it...course I never will, and I know its a lifetime process, but yet. Speaking of bible studies, God really kicked my butt this morning about my lack of love for others (again). Just seeing the way Paul loved the Thessalonians and risked everything and was persecuted to see them joyful and full of faith and encouragement. I haven't been loving the people around me like that. I want to. I'm praying He will help change my heart.
Learning...everything is a learning process.
More later. Maybe.
Sunday, March 05, 2006
Alot has happened in the last week eh? Figured it best that I keep my mouth shut through the most of it... But all in all its been good. I am really sick of mono. I hate how tired I am after I walk somewhere. No matter where I go, I'm worn out by the time I get there. I hate how much it hurts to play sports or walk too far. I'm so sick of being sore and not having energy. I'm sick of people getting frustrated with me because I'm still sick and they think I should be better by now. I know that they're sick of me being sick, so I try to buck up and act like I'm find most of the time... I wish sometimes for there sake that I could put off the pain and the tiredness til I'm alone.
Despite what it sounds, I'm actually in a good mood tonight. Had a great day. It was one of those evenings where, when walking back from Moe Joe's, everything just seemed beautiful and I felt so alive and like singing. I felt like myself. It was wonderful.
It was soo good to see Pete and Amy again. Made me miss fencing some. I miss seeing Pete and Amy more...
Well, I should get some sleep. Night.
Oh, by the way, I love my friends :-) Sorry for not loving you guys like you deserve. He's changing me, I'm a work in progress.
Despite what it sounds, I'm actually in a good mood tonight. Had a great day. It was one of those evenings where, when walking back from Moe Joe's, everything just seemed beautiful and I felt so alive and like singing. I felt like myself. It was wonderful.
It was soo good to see Pete and Amy again. Made me miss fencing some. I miss seeing Pete and Amy more...
Well, I should get some sleep. Night.
Oh, by the way, I love my friends :-) Sorry for not loving you guys like you deserve. He's changing me, I'm a work in progress.
