Ramblings of a Wandering Luney

Okay, Christians sometimes really make me mad. If you are going to get up in front of a class of both Christians and non-Christians to debate a hot topic, you better have some support other than the Bible says so. It was the homosexual marriage group's day to debate, and homosexual marriage proponent made a well-informed, logical opening to the debate. The guy against it basically only replyed with the Bible says its bad and our country is mostly Christian, therefore majority wins and its bad. He used no logic, nothing. Ugh. Its no wonder why people are repelled from religion. As Christians in the world but not of it, we should be researching and trying to understand what is going on in the world around us and learning about other views. Dad never let me get away with the simple argument: "Be open-minded enough that you brain can air out, but not so much that they fall out." We need to be open minded, but not to the extent where anything goes because there are some boundaries.

Okay, enough ranting. I went to a poetry reading at a coffee shop the other night. It was really good. The Athens Boys Choir (a poetry duo of a gay and a lesbian) were the featured artists and they were awesome. We went to the Waffle after which brought back a lot of old memories. Good times. Had some good discussions on the way to and back from poetry which was cool.

The year is rapidly winding down. Shouldn't be bad after 2pm today, should be all downhill from there. Mom is coming Wednesday. She wants to have lunch with a bunch of my friends here . I warned her that most people will be stressing over exams and the year winding down and probably won't have time, but it'll be worth a try. Wow, I just read a friend's away message: its the last Monday. Weird. Ack, I'm late!

Wow, what a week. Emotionally draining but sooo fun. I baked a lot this week for stressed people which helped to de-stress me. I have not gotten any sleep, but it's been worth it. Staying up late talking with people, watching movies, playing....good times. Last night was awesome: midnight football, late night tennis, movies....so wonderful! Getting through classes has been alright. Its been a good week. Spiritually, God is still changing me. Its awesome and wonderful! I've been dry for so long that these last few months have been really amazing with what God has been doing in my heart and life. Lately He's been convicting me about how I don't love others like I need to be. He's also been convicting me on my arrogence. There's so much to say, but my brain isn't functioning on the lack of sleep. So instead I sit here smiling at my computer, sipping my coffee, and listening to the Garden State soundtrack. Oh! I played my guitar this week. I didn't realize how much I missed that.

Smile, Dance, Spin in a circle, Laugh for no reason, Give someone a hug, Live

Please continue to pray for my sister and family.

I've really been blessed with wonderful friends here!! I'm really not looking forward to summer. Most of you won't be home this summer, and all of these friends will be far away as well. This year has been awesome, very very hard emotionally, but so wonderful. I really couldn't have asked for a better place to be. As Mrs. Goffin would say: "Is there any other place you would rather be?" I would answer a resounding no. I'll miss not being able to play lunch break soccer this summer cause of work, but its a good job. Maybe we can get a group to play in the evenings and on weekends. Actually, more I think about it, summer won't be bad. I'm just going to miss the people here very much. I wish you all could meet them. Won't it be weird to be home? To be among people who know nothing about the way life has been for you the last 9 months and don't know any of the people you met? Weird, but it'll be good. Love you all! Enjoy the weekend!

I havn't cried like that in a long, long time. Please please please be praying for her and our family. We really need it right now. But even though I'm terrified and it hurts, I trust Him.

Hmm...a good ending to a week. Water fights, fencing, movies, my daddy came, relay for life, soccer....collapses with exhaustion. Currently my brain isn't exactly functioning after getting almost no sleep than writing 10 pages of my 15 page paper and writing my other two page paper. But I don't want to sleep yet. I can hear the guys and Tara tossing a soft football out in the hall and their music is echoing almost as though its in my room as well. I love this hall. They're all so fun.
I saw the most beautiful sunset tonight. It was perfect layers of different colors over the horizon.
I am kinda rambling now cause I can't think straight enough to have anything to say. Have a wonderful weekend.

It's been a long time since I've had a nightmare, much less one that was that bad. I have never, until last night, had the same nightmare twice in one night. Waking up scared with a very bad sore throat was definitly not the best way to wake up, but at least the day got better from there (minus the sore throat). I'm doing well still, still feeling at peace. It was good to have a bad morning so I could lean on God and not my own strength (something I havn't been doing enough of lately). Lab was easy, lunch with Rachel was fun (although my throat hurt too much to eat). Watching soccer with Roy and Matt was fun as usual. Amy joined us this time which was great, and it was also wonderful to see the other Amy again. It was really good to just be able to sit and relax. My head has been a foggy cloud most of the day and I had a few dizzy spells. Spent some time with my roommate, looked at the beauty of campus, got coffee with friends. A good day. My head ached all through house church making it hard to focus on what people were saying. But the songs, those I could focus on better. Garden State is a good movie, I'd like to see it a second time though cause I get the feeling I missed something. I know this is babbly and not saying much. I had a lot to say when I started, but...it seems to have either left me or get so confused in the cloud in my head that I have no idea how to put it in words. Maybe I should sleep. Sweet dreams.

Today has just been so wonderful that I really must post twice!!! I skipped English lab today cause they were doing stupid stuff and did my biology lab homework instead. This means I got to wander around campus and collect and identify leaves. It was wonderful. A german guy yelled jokingly "Don't hurt the trees!" I grinned and told him it was for biology. "Yea, whatever!" I went to go get a warm drink (not coffee) and ran into so many people I know but havn't seen in a long time. Came back to the dorm, did a bit of homework before watching the first half of Bayern Munich play Chealsea with Roy and Matt (I wish I could have seen the whole thing, but I enjoyed the part I saw). I left early to go to a workout class with Tara, which turned out to be a blast. Good roommate bonding time. When we left Fike it wasn't raining, when we reached the parking lot next to Fike the skies opened and it poured. We both held our arms out, looked up, and soaked up the moment. We had fun spinning and puddle jumping and attempting to kick as much water on eachother as possible. People probably though we were nuts as we ran around playing in the rain. Laughing we stumbled into Holmes in time to see a glimpse of Roy and John round the corner. Tara and I grin at eachother as we take off running after them. I grab Roy from behind and gave him a big wet hug. John recieved the same, as well as Matt after we hunted him down in his room. Well..actually....so did Robert, David and James once we reached second floor. Oh come on, we had to spread the wet joy of rain! Went to dinner with people I normally don't eat with and havn't seen as much of and came back to my dorm for the first good news in a long time. Its been an absolutely wonderful day. Enjoy the rain everyone!! Dance, spin, jump in a puddle, play, and thank the God of rain and dance.

This week has been nice and relaxing thus far. Nothing extrememly pressing. The bane of my existence (statistics) was canceled today!!!! And I remembered that I am allowed one absence in English lab, so I skipped. Man, I'm getting lazy.

I've been a lot more at peace lately. Its a wonderful feeling.

I got to play soccer last night. Not for too long, but it was fun. I don't know most of that group yet, but its still fun and it'd be cool to get to know them better.

Last semester I had a friend going through a really hard time. He was struggling with life and faith. God worked a complete miracle in his life and since he has changed to much and his faith has grown exponentially. Lately, he has been such an encouragement to me. He sends me verses every morning without fail and God really speaks through them to me. They are always butt kicking or something that I really needed to hear. This morning was Romans 8:18-the end of that section (I don't remember the verse number). God is so good and patient. I would have given up on someone like me a long time earlier.

Please forgive my self-centeredness and not loving you all like you deserve.

You know what I found interesting in psychology the other day? The hallmarks of the adolescent period of development (ages 13-21) are self-centeredness, self-consciousness, hypocrisy, indecisivness, and argumentativeness. They really view us as a lovely bunch eh? Most of those sounds more like overall human problems than just things found in adolescence. Wouldn't it be wonderful if we could all just grow out of our self-centeredness and suddenely live consistently to what we profess without struggle? Fascinating class though. I'm going to miss not having psychology next semester.

Sorry for my absence. I needed time to think and get things straight. That was good advice you gave me, to take time to get things between God and I straight. This weekend was mostly doing that. I went to be relatively early Friday night, woke up around 8:45 Saturday. Had breakfast alone, walked around the quiet campus, went to Fike to workout. Peaceful. God's taught me a lot over the last week and is continuing to teach me. Slowly he's growing me, slowly and painfully.

May I ask one thing of you? That you be honest with me and never afraid offend me. If there is something that I'm doing that is not right, confront me. We all need accountability.

The weather here has been amazing! But me being the intelligent white girl I am, am reaping the consequences of playing outside in the sun for four hours. But it was soooo worth it. The DCF film festival was awesome!! But the best part of today: girl time. Oh yes, that's right. Coffee and wandering around with Amy and sitting and talking with Tara and Amy in the hall. I needed that.

The sermon this morning kicked my butt as Rachel and I would say. Wow, that's the way I am. God, You're grace and love are amazing! How do you put up with me? You are so patient.

Well, I've put off my homework for long enough. If I don't study now I'll be in massively bad trouble tomorrow. Have a wonderful night!

Beautiful night for a run. Probably a dumb thing to do, but it was wonderful.

What he said was true. Please don't think I was angry because I wasn't, I really was tired and just going to bed.

Well, I'm going to go study more for statistics. May your day be wonderful.

19 Your righteousness reaches to the skies, O God, you who have done great things. Who, O God, is like you? 20 Though you have made me see troubles, many and bitter, you will restore my life again; from the depths of the earth you will again bring me up. 21 You will increase my honor and comfort me once again. 22 I will praise you with the harp for your faithfulness, O my God; I will sing praise to you with the lyre, O Holy One of Israel. 23 My lips will shout for joy when I sing praise to you- I, whom you have redeemed. 24 My tongue will tell of your righteous acts all day long.

Psalm 71

1Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. 2Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. 3For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. 4When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.

Colossians 3:1-3

17And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.
Colossians 3:17

20I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.
Galatians 2

Wow. I really got my butt kicked last night and this morning as Rachel and I would say. In a good way, for those of you who aren't use to Rachel and I's lingo. My whining last night was in a moment of frustration, sorry about that. God really convicted me last night and this morning on my heart and the way I've been dealing with things. Pray for me, that He will continue to change me.

Now go out, get off your computer and enjoy the beautiful weather!

Today was rough. Woke up late, half my english group didn't show up for our presentation, didn't have my registration number when my window opened, sprinted up 8 flights of Strode stairs to get it (on an already sore leg), interview didn't go to hot I think (I hate phone interviews), statistics is just depressing, and...okay I'll stop whining.

I did get to play tennis and rollerblade today which was fun (I hope she didn't feel like I was ditching her). Matt also cheered me up after my phone interview. It was really good to have someone there after I hung up. I went to RUF for the first time this year and really liked it. Hopefully I go more before the end of the semester. He was talking about moodiness and Christianity. Bring back memories anyone? It really convicted me, especially the Cori Ten Boon (spelling???) story with the fleas. Lately I've been really letting all that's been going on get to me. I let myself reach a breaking point and started to push people away. I feel so bad. Especially when I run into people I havn't seen in awhile, or they ask me how I'm doing and I say fine. I'm getting better about not pushing people away, but I'm still going to answer fine to those I'm not as close to. I guess that's what happens when I try to carry my own problems instead of trusting them to God. I'm almost disgusted with the place I've allowed myself to slip to: questioning, frustrated, cold in a way (not completely, I'm amazed when people say they've seen me different than that, say they've seen me grow. Maybe I have grown through questioning before I got more frustrated. Maybe I'm just good at hiding. I dunno anymore).

Thursday. Estoy nerviosa y tengo miedo de este dia.

I'm really enjoying walking around campus lately. All the flowers and trees blooming. On of my favorites is a pink dogwood. But the flower isn't totally pink, it is pink and white. Beautiful.

I guess I should post about this weekend. I thought I was sleep deprived before this weekend, now.... wow. Go figure I'd be between a window and Joel on both flights. So yea...definitly didn't get to sleep or do homework. The place we stayed made me laugh. We had 5 people in a room that was supposedly for two. The shower had no pressure and the electricity went out twice in the bathroom. Oh yea, I found bugs in the bathroom. There was a fridge, but the door fell off it. And our keys kept not working. Actually, I didn't mind any of this. It made me laugh.
We went as a team to see a movie, but didn't go to dinner as a team which I think made Mitchell mad. Or maybe he was just tired.
Saturday I didn't fence too well. I went 5-4, but I made up for it by only losing one bout on Sunday to place third (I fenced B-strip cause it was a team event). This meant I qualified to fence in individuals which didn't go too hot. I was tired and my knee gave out my second to last bout. I fenced my last bout on a bum knee. I couldn't really move off the start line on it, so I just parry reposed and ended the bout 4-5 (heck yea!). We had to run through the airport with all our fencing gear and limping on our injuries to catch our plane cause the tournament went long. We left three of our fencers there because their individual rounds were not over. I pity anyone who sat in the back of the plane on the trip back.
One thing I hate about weekend long fencing tournaments is how easily I pick up the cursing. Its frustrating.
He told me I made a mistake in saying what I did, but I think its fine. He won't act on it, he's not like that. He's just teasing.
Ever want to say something, but not feel like having everyone know about it? Yea. Insert that here.
Today was long. I was tired. But I got to do my homework out in the sun and play soccer which made it wonderful. James said something that made me laugh. I got in a water fight with tara and I against Josh and Garren. It was fun, but they cheated and soaked us with mugs full of water!!! Well...we did steal their water guns at that point...
I have an interview with the bank tomorrow and I get to register for classes. Yay (said in a monotone voice). Well, this post has been all info, nothing interesting cause I just want sleep. Maybe I'll say more tomorrow if I have time, maybe not.
Oh, one last thing: I'm sorry for being kinda cold and boring lately. I'm tired and hurting, just give me some time (I hope).