Ramblings of a Wandering Luney

I love it when it first starts to rain; when giant drops of water call on the pavement leave dark splotches. Why? I have no clue.

Catching up with old friends is going to take awhile, but hopefully we'll all be able to pick up where we left off...or stronger. The saying good bye part will be easier this time around, but sad all the same. I was thinking about that the other night as I walked downtown with Ian and Mike. It was almost like old times. Almost. Learning I might not see Liz again was rough. Amazing how you can feel close to someone you didn't get to spend too much time with. Oh, waking up extra early to meet a friend for breakfast is wonderful. Not only cause I got to spend time with a friend, but I was so awake for work.

I'm so excited about this weekend! Heck yea!!

When will I learn to keep my mouth shut?

Every morning I wage war against the drive through window shade, and every morning I have to concede and ask Natalie for help.
"It likes you!"
"No, its like a man, you gotta learn how to handle it. ....And oh...you learn!"

Ooh so sick. I couldn't stop eating tonight. I just kept on eating even after I started feeling sick. I think what she said scared me. The way she talked about it creeping up on you, talking over your thoughts before you're aware of it. Her telling me what he said. It all scared me so bad. So bad that I ate til I hurt, and now I'm regretting it. I can't wait to go back to Clemson.

There is something about downtown that energizes me even before I hit up the local coffee shop. Just driving into the city and seeing it reminds me of how much I love it. I noticed an old couple and their dog (which kinda looked like the dog from How to Lose A Guy in Ten Days) sitting on a bench. Sighing, I muttered in my thoughts about retirees taking over Asheville and trying to "normalize" it, but stopped to pet the dog anyway. Gotta feel bad for a dog shaved that terribly.
"We're taking a poll," the man said. "Are you allowed to scream if your just filled with joy for no reason downtown?" Surprised, and supposing they would be against it, I replied "Of course, if your that filled with emotion you should express it." The laughed and agreed with me heartily and explained the story behind the question: a woman getting out of her car in front of them with a big smile on her face, yelled out to the air, and walked on. I
I love sitting at Old Euro with a cup of coffee (iced in this case) watching the people go by. I always wonder (as Ian and probably many of you others do) about the stories behind the people as they walk by. I also love to listen to people talk. I'm fascinated by their conversations. One girl, at the table next to me, was telling her boyfriend (or at least I suppose that's who he was) about how she was thrown into a situation as a spanish translator where she had to translate for a hospital when she didn't even know the medical stuff in English much less Spanish. Interesting, seeing that is my major. Two older men were sharing the last ten years of their life with eachother. And then there was him. I see him there everytime but dont' know his name. Once, he played my classical guitar and he played well. I think he is the manager but I can't be sure. He sits, listens and watches. Sometimes random people will sit with him. I bet he has heard so many stories and so many ideas. Sounds of drums, violins, and guitars filled the air as we wondered across town and up into an old loft where there were people dancing in unison to the beat of the drums. Organic foods, used books, and ice cream not only wonderful for tonight but bring back memories of post game times, some filled with happy chatter, others glum consilations for a well fought battle.
I'm really looking forward to Bele Chere. I'm excited about the Clemson people coming up, but I'm torn with wanting to hang out a bit with the grace crew. They're getting up early Saturday and cooking breakfast on the street out by the Vance Monument. How fun is that? Heck yea.
Found some good restuarants downtown. I'm gonna write that so I dont' forget to go there sometime. You know me, I'll never remember.
Tengan una noche hermosa con con sueños dulces de de la vida y la alegría. Miren las estrellas y la luna. Tresure la belleza.

Wow, its been awhile eh? I'm trying out this new blogger thingy Matthew helped me add. We'll see if this keeps me from losing so many posts. Wow, so much has happened since the last time I was here. It brought back so many memories having both of you back at the same time. The crazy British magician downtown was wonderful, discovering the rhino, random blue grass, coffee shops, wandering and most of all just talking. Reminded me so much of the old times. It was almost as if time hadn't passed. A lot of good conversation.

I keep typing things and deleting them cause so much has happened I don't know where to begin; so many thoughts, occurances, laughs, and such. So maybe I'll forget the past and just try to pick up with the present. Or close to the present.

Time present and time past
are both perhaps present in time future,
And time future contained in time past.

I had last week off from work, which was wonderful. That's all I will say about what I did or else I can ramble on forever about lakes and jet ski's and holes and soccer and... we were suppose to be at the lake for the whole time, but my step grandmother died. Grandpa didn't take it well. He asked dad if God hated him because in one year he lost his house, his father and his wife. Dad seemed drained for two days after he got the news, but relaxed more once we were out of town.

It was hard to hear her cry and not be able to hug her. So many of my friends have so much to deal with. I don't realize how good I have it til I spend time with them and see what they go through daily. My parents don't yell at me, I don't pay for my own trips to the doctor, they are there for me when I need help, they support my decisions.... It makes me think about the kind of parent I want to be. Makes me realize how unsacrificing and unselfish parents have to be. Makes me respect my parents a whole lot more.

Ever have an idea you were wrestling with suddenly make sense after ignoring it for awhile? Yea... I'm not sure if I like it that way or would rather fight it to resolution in my thoughts. Cause if I fight it and come to a conclusion, then at least I know it is what I truely think is right. I will always second guess the idea that suddenly just seems right.

I saw a bumper sticker on my way home from work today. It said question reality. My first thought was, that's a good bumper sticker. Then I thought about it. Its more telling me to question if what is around me is real and not just to question the validity of it. There is a difference. So I came to the conclusion that if I bought the bumper sticker I would cut it in half and keep the part that said "question" and randomly stick the reality part on someone else's car. Its good to question, we don't learn without questioning. Through questioning we realize what we believe. We shouldn't accept things at face value. It drives me nuts when I run across people who always do that. Like that one girl who said McDonalds was bad because it made people fat and that statement was true cause she heard it in school. That made me ill. Yea, there are times when you have to accept things without questioning, but not always. But then I thought about the bumper sticker again. It might not be bad to have the whole thing. Question Reality. The reality of people. Not everyone we see around us is real. Dumb facades that even I put up at times as a defense. Punch me if you notice me using a facade. I want to always be real. But its so hard to be. So painful. If someone insults you, its only the facade that's hurt. A facade can be broken without hurting the wearer, humiliating them maybe, but no real pain. Another facade can easily and quickly replace it. But a cut to the face, the real face, hurts in a way beyond humiliation and sometimes leaves a scar. Question reality, the reality of people's intentions.

Good night.