Thursday, April 27, 2006
I had a realization today as to how absolutely selfish and self-absorbed I've allowed myself to become. I mean, in the daily stuff so Honduras and youth ministry doesn't count. I mean in the daily grind. Even when I "do" something for someone else it has such selfish motives. I even talk to the lady who cleans our building less... I use to talk to her every time I saw her and baked for her a couple of times... but lately I find myself hoping I don't bump into her so I can hurry up to wherever I'm going. Compassoin, loving others, those use to be traits I had and people saw in me...Forgive me Father. Help me to change.
I hate being a girl sometimes. I wish I didn't cry so easy sometimes. Somehow when I cry I feel like I hurt whoever is around me.
But soccer was fun tonight!! Yea, there were a lot of people and at times it was more like kick-ball, but I felt like I played decently and was relaxed. I really enjoyed it and it relieved a lot of stress and what not. I also got to speak some spanish. Again, its helping me to feel a bit more excited about Honduras. Nervous also since I don't remember as much as I would have liked, but at least I can still speak it.
I tried playing a new computer game today...I have a feeling I could easily get addicted :-P
Today was a good day. It was relaxing. I had no class, nothing pressing. I even got to take a nap (which I rarely ever do). And I got to hang out with Matt (which is always enjoy) and Amy brought over her new kitten!! It was soo cute!! I was glad Amy came. I enjoy spending time with her. Sitting on the bench doing my homework, I closed my eyes for a moment and felt the sun on my skin and inhaled deeply (as much as I could with my nose as stuffed as it is), it felt good to be alive. I was fascinated by what I was studying too, so even the studying part was enjoyable. It was definitely a good day.
I hate being a girl sometimes. I wish I didn't cry so easy sometimes. Somehow when I cry I feel like I hurt whoever is around me.
But soccer was fun tonight!! Yea, there were a lot of people and at times it was more like kick-ball, but I felt like I played decently and was relaxed. I really enjoyed it and it relieved a lot of stress and what not. I also got to speak some spanish. Again, its helping me to feel a bit more excited about Honduras. Nervous also since I don't remember as much as I would have liked, but at least I can still speak it.
I tried playing a new computer game today...I have a feeling I could easily get addicted :-P
Today was a good day. It was relaxing. I had no class, nothing pressing. I even got to take a nap (which I rarely ever do). And I got to hang out with Matt (which is always enjoy) and Amy brought over her new kitten!! It was soo cute!! I was glad Amy came. I enjoy spending time with her. Sitting on the bench doing my homework, I closed my eyes for a moment and felt the sun on my skin and inhaled deeply (as much as I could with my nose as stuffed as it is), it felt good to be alive. I was fascinated by what I was studying too, so even the studying part was enjoyable. It was definitely a good day.
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