Tuesday, April 05, 2005
Today was rough. Woke up late, half my english group didn't show up for our presentation, didn't have my registration number when my window opened, sprinted up 8 flights of Strode stairs to get it (on an already sore leg), interview didn't go to hot I think (I hate phone interviews), statistics is just depressing, and...okay I'll stop whining.
I did get to play tennis and rollerblade today which was fun (I hope she didn't feel like I was ditching her). Matt also cheered me up after my phone interview. It was really good to have someone there after I hung up. I went to RUF for the first time this year and really liked it. Hopefully I go more before the end of the semester. He was talking about moodiness and Christianity. Bring back memories anyone? It really convicted me, especially the Cori Ten Boon (spelling???) story with the fleas. Lately I've been really letting all that's been going on get to me. I let myself reach a breaking point and started to push people away. I feel so bad. Especially when I run into people I havn't seen in awhile, or they ask me how I'm doing and I say fine. I'm getting better about not pushing people away, but I'm still going to answer fine to those I'm not as close to. I guess that's what happens when I try to carry my own problems instead of trusting them to God. I'm almost disgusted with the place I've allowed myself to slip to: questioning, frustrated, cold in a way (not completely, I'm amazed when people say they've seen me different than that, say they've seen me grow. Maybe I have grown through questioning before I got more frustrated. Maybe I'm just good at hiding. I dunno anymore).
Thursday. Estoy nerviosa y tengo miedo de este dia.
I'm really enjoying walking around campus lately. All the flowers and trees blooming. On of my favorites is a pink dogwood. But the flower isn't totally pink, it is pink and white. Beautiful.
I did get to play tennis and rollerblade today which was fun (I hope she didn't feel like I was ditching her). Matt also cheered me up after my phone interview. It was really good to have someone there after I hung up. I went to RUF for the first time this year and really liked it. Hopefully I go more before the end of the semester. He was talking about moodiness and Christianity. Bring back memories anyone? It really convicted me, especially the Cori Ten Boon (spelling???) story with the fleas. Lately I've been really letting all that's been going on get to me. I let myself reach a breaking point and started to push people away. I feel so bad. Especially when I run into people I havn't seen in awhile, or they ask me how I'm doing and I say fine. I'm getting better about not pushing people away, but I'm still going to answer fine to those I'm not as close to. I guess that's what happens when I try to carry my own problems instead of trusting them to God. I'm almost disgusted with the place I've allowed myself to slip to: questioning, frustrated, cold in a way (not completely, I'm amazed when people say they've seen me different than that, say they've seen me grow. Maybe I have grown through questioning before I got more frustrated. Maybe I'm just good at hiding. I dunno anymore).
Thursday. Estoy nerviosa y tengo miedo de este dia.
I'm really enjoying walking around campus lately. All the flowers and trees blooming. On of my favorites is a pink dogwood. But the flower isn't totally pink, it is pink and white. Beautiful.
Comments:
Post a Comment
