Thursday, March 03, 2005
I know, three posts in the last hour, but alot has been on my mind. Another friend said an interesting thing the other day. Its okay to be afraid. Jesus was afraid when he prayed in the garden all night. But with that fear also needs to be faith and perserverence. I keep trying to do everything on my own and not lean on Him. I'm leaning on Him more now than I did with Grandma, but I'm still not trusting and am letting the fear overshadow everything. But He's changing me slowly, and teaching me. Forgive me my friends, I'm a work still in progress. Many times in the last year I've asked why, but I can see He is changing me. You all know I hate being dependent, but slowly He's teaching me to be dependent on Him. I'm proud and self centered, but He slowly calling me on it. The change feels so slow!!!
I tend to forget that my reason for existing is to do His work and accomplish His will. Instead, I tend to want to live for myself (although I don't want to do that at the same time, there's the whole Paul thing). Change my heart!!!
"Batter my heart, three-personed God; for you
As yet but knock, breathe, shine, and seek to mend;
That I may rise and stand, o'erthrow me, and bend.
Your force to break, blow, burn, and make me new.
I, like an usurped town, to another due,
Labor to admit you, but O, to no end;
Reason, your viceroy in me, me should defend,
But is captived, and proves weak or untrue.
Yet dearly I love you, and would be loved fain,
But am betrothed unto your enemy.
Divorce me, untie or break that know again;
Take me to you, imprison me, for I,
Except you enthrall me, never shall be free,
Nor ever chaste, except you ravish me."
John Donne "Holy Sonnet 14"
So different from how I feel when I try things on my own:
"We are the hollow men
We are the stuffed men
Leaning together
Headpiece filled with straw. Alas!
Our dried voices, when
We whisper together
Are quiet and meaningless
As wind in dry grass
Or rats' feet over broken glass
In our dry cellar
Shape without form, shade without colour
Paralysed force, gesture without motion;
Those who have crossed
With direct eyes, to death's other Kingdom
Remember us - if at all - not as lost
Violent souls, but only
As the hollow men
The stuffed men."
-T.S. Eliot "Hollow Men"
Change me Lord. Pull me to you. Don't let me get lost in myself.
I tend to forget that my reason for existing is to do His work and accomplish His will. Instead, I tend to want to live for myself (although I don't want to do that at the same time, there's the whole Paul thing). Change my heart!!!
"Batter my heart, three-personed God; for you
As yet but knock, breathe, shine, and seek to mend;
That I may rise and stand, o'erthrow me, and bend.
Your force to break, blow, burn, and make me new.
I, like an usurped town, to another due,
Labor to admit you, but O, to no end;
Reason, your viceroy in me, me should defend,
But is captived, and proves weak or untrue.
Yet dearly I love you, and would be loved fain,
But am betrothed unto your enemy.
Divorce me, untie or break that know again;
Take me to you, imprison me, for I,
Except you enthrall me, never shall be free,
Nor ever chaste, except you ravish me."
John Donne "Holy Sonnet 14"
So different from how I feel when I try things on my own:
"We are the hollow men
We are the stuffed men
Leaning together
Headpiece filled with straw. Alas!
Our dried voices, when
We whisper together
Are quiet and meaningless
As wind in dry grass
Or rats' feet over broken glass
In our dry cellar
Shape without form, shade without colour
Paralysed force, gesture without motion;
Those who have crossed
With direct eyes, to death's other Kingdom
Remember us - if at all - not as lost
Violent souls, but only
As the hollow men
The stuffed men."
-T.S. Eliot "Hollow Men"
Change me Lord. Pull me to you. Don't let me get lost in myself.
Comments:
Post a Comment
