Ramblings of a Wandering Luney

I havn't neglected you, promise. I've just been... I don't know. I guess I just havn't felt like posting. Because if I post I will say what I feel and think, and that isn't always the best thing to do.

Friday night was nice, listening to poetry, working on a puzzle...then I broke down. On the inside I felt like I was being torn in two. I wanted to throw up, or crawl into a ball and cry. But I felt at the same time like I couldn't cry. I was torn between wanting terribly to let out all the emotions that screamed to be released and not being able to. His hug was so comforting and she patted my foot to show she cared. Gosh I hate being weak and out of control.

Saturday I got to see Doug!!!! That was wonderful. I've missed him. Sadly I didn't get to hang out with him long because he was so busy. Everyone also seemed to want to hang out Saturday so I really didn't get the amount of homework done that I wanted to. But soccer practice was a blast. I finally got to go out to dinner with my neglected floor buddies who I havn't spent much time with. Oooh I like the steering in that truck. I'm way too addicted to puzzles. I WIN! Actually I really don't get it...

The fencing tourny went well in that I placed first and got an E rating! But I don't feel like I actually fenced well and I felt really bad for beating Kelly. She deserves it more than I do. But all in all it was fun. Riding down with Roy was great, and so was seeing my parents. But yet again, that night I had a lovely emotional break down. Seems to be a recurring theme lately. I think I need more sleep. I was doing fine until Robert walked in. For some reason I can never cover up how I'm really feeling around him. I guess that's a good thing... Well, when he asked how I was I broke down into tears, Eric walked in behind him, looked confused, walked out and came back with tissues. Thanks you guys. It seems Robert, that you always catch me at the roughest times of the day. Do you mind? I apologize.

I had the worst morning. I have never had such a bad Monday. But going to the pit helped alot. Being out inthe sun, watching the clouds, talking, music...that really changed my day. So did tea and a good book and good bread. Its been awhile since that many people have just come randomly into the room just to hang out. It was nice.

A good thing about warm weather: I love having the window open. I love listening to the people passing in the courtyard.

Bouncy bouncy bouncy......ASHLEY!!!!!! Do it again! Hey, I learned alot.

I've been learning alot about myself lately.

I'm shutting up for now cause i don't feel like rambling anymore. Good night.