Ramblings of a Wandering Luney

I'm sorry for being a downer. I thought getting out of the room and getting my mind off it would help. I wasn't going to tell you about it yet. I didn't want to be a downer. I hope your night cheered up, cause I know you ewre having a bad evening too. You know how amazing you are? Doubtful or you'd be arrogant.
It amazing how a day can be going so well, then something happens so fast to change it. I feel so helpless. I wish there was something I could do for her, even if I could see her that would be wonderful. She's sick again, and its bad this time. She never fully recovered from the last time. I thought she was past it, almost. I'm scared. She might be hospitalized after graduation, but she hasnt' been told this. My mom is scared, too afraid to tell her. This will me no graduate school, she'll lose her full scholarship. I'm scared that they'll try to help her themselves and it will make things worse. She's in debt too on top of this. She took out a loan. She can barely afford utilities, much less a loan. I worry about her so much. I love her, but there is nothing I can say or do that can help her. I feel so distant. I've seen her twice since July. I've never been able to deal well with this kind of stuff, and now it feels like its never ending this year. I'm gonna stop typing cause I'm afraid of what I'll write if I process anymore. I know, I'm not being completely open at the moment. Forgive me.

Oh, on a happier note, congrats you guys. That's awesome, and I'm really happy for you two.