Ramblings of a Wandering Luney

I feel like a horrible, wretched excuse of a person. I wish I could just cease to exist or ball up in a hole and disappear. I just feel like showering for hours to try to get off the crud of what I am even though I know it won't help. I don't have the words to describe my wretched and horrible existence. I'm going to go now and either stick my head in a pillow and cry or punch the pillow til it bursts.