Ramblings of a Wandering Luney

I feel like half my life is spent sitting in traffic jams. I can never get away from them!!! Right now the state has for some reason decided to not only work on every road by my house leading to the highway, but also the highway by my house. So by the time I had sat in traffic on the way to school, on the way home, and on the way to AB Tech, I was annoyed. Right when I thought I could handel no more, God intervened. (He has a funny way of doing that right when we reach the end of ourselves). It was kinda like He was knocking me over the head and saying...Ashley, you can be spending this time talking me.... I spend most of my day going about doing whatever I want and think of God only when it's convenient. I forget that I need Him every moment and a relationship means spending time with Him. Lately I've really been putting Him on the back burning and putting everything else in my life before Him. I found three things in my life that are "my rings" as I call them. Because while I was driving, God convicted me of these three big idols in my life. "Oh, thank you God for showing me this, now I can get it all out of my life, this should be easy...." "Wait....I don't want to let these things go..." Part of me was scared, scared of letting go of things I have held onto for so long. They were "precious to me" and I felt like Gollum. Yet something tells me that God would not have shown me this problem if He was going to leave me to struggle with it on my own. It seems like each day He is showing me more how messed up I am and how much I need Him (which is a good thing because I am so proud and think I can do everything on my own).

"Batter my heart, three-personed God; for you
As yet but knock, breathe, shine, and seek to mend;
That I may rise and stand, o'erthrow me, and bend.
Your force to break, blow, burn, and make me new.
I, like an usurped town, to another due,
Labor to admit you, but O, to no end;
Reason, your viceroy in me, me should defend,
But is captived, and proves weak or untrue.
Yet dearly I love you, and would be loved fain,
But am betrothed unto your enemy.
DIvorce me, untie or break that know again;
Take me to you, imprison me, for I,
Except you enthrall me, never shall be free,
Nor ever chaste, except you ravish me."
John Donne "Holy Sonnet 14"